Happy New Year… and Thank You
As the horrendous 2020 comes to a much-needed close, I want to highlight a good thing from the year: YOU!
Thank you for your support. Jumping onto a cyber platform is scary, but you gave me a cushy place to land. Of course I love it when you buy my books and buy me drinks.
Sure, I do a happy dance every time I get a sale… but I’m also touched by your communication. I love answering your questions! More importantly, though, I think the question you ask is something others may be too embarrassed to voice. So the answers you get help many more.
It’s not just the “Ask” communications, either. Many of you are creative writers, and I love reading your answers to the Creative Survey in bdsmlr. If you don’t know about it, new surveys hit Tuesdays and Fridays. They’re an interactive way to vote in some kinky fun.
The latest survey ends Tuesday, December 29, 2020 at 7A EST… you can still make it!
Plus, you connect with me in bdsmlr, Tumblr and Twitter.
I’m not sure HOW you know that my favorite color is purple, but you love linking me pics with purple in them… or ones you know will be a great addition to my blog. These make me smile, too, because I know you think of me.
While I’m looking forward to 2021, I’m most grateful for all of your smiles in 2020.
Cheers to you, and I look forward to sharing many more smiles!
Three More Days
The ORGY of a sale remains in full swing until that ball drops. So end 2020 with a gangbang of savings!
No coupon code necessary. Buy two books, three or four, or the orgy of 5+, and the discount will automatically be added to your cart. The sale includes audiobooks, too!
Sean O’Toole’s first short story collection, “Three Erotic Tales in a Brown Paper Wrapper” reveals his heterosexual side in three tasty morsels.
Sean is busily compiling his next collection, which will be three gay samplings. Look for it in early January!
I am so excited to share another author with you!!! It’s his debut novel, and it deals with: femdom, slave submissives, action, adventure, exhibitionism, punishment, jealousy, love, and there’s even a duel!
But that’s all you get right now. You know I love to tease!
It’s in the final editing phase, and I expect to unveil it in January!
Question: If I may, a question: do you think it possible for a sub-male – who his entire professional life has had to be out front, in charge, the place where the buck stops – for this sub-male to have a legitimate domme/sub relationship? Or is the learned/forced nature of his public life an insurmountable obstacle to something genuine?
Answer: I thought this question was super easy and would take no time to answer… until I sat down to write it. After thinking about many different directions, I sought out Sean O’Toole’s assistance.
I’ll give you his answer first: “The question is impossible to answer because there are two many variables and, ultimately, it depends upon the couple in the relationship.”
Here are my two answers, which contain qualifiers. One, yes, it’s insurmountable IF you’re talking about a female-led relationship, and it’s a lifestyle choice.
The extreme side of that example is the female makes all the decisions. And she could decide you’re not working anymore. Further, she wants to keep you naked and in a cage until she’s ready to play with you or give you instructions.
Two, no, it’s not insurmountable IF you’re not a lifestyler. If you are a switch and wish to engage in Dominant and submissive activities in the bedroom while maintaining your public, dominant persona, then you get to keep both worlds separate.
I don’t think there’s a right answer here. It depends on the people and how you view a “legitimate” relationship. My definition may be different from yours, from Sean’s or anyone else.
I’ll tell you this, though: Many people get caught up in labels and definitions. I’m a firm believer that relationships are fluid and don’t always fit nicely into preset categories.
The best relationship, in my opinion, is one with a solid foundation of communication. You define it as you go. Try some things, then talk about what worked and what didn’t. Create your own mold and put whatever kink and/or fetishes into it.
It doesn’t need a label, but both partners should have a happy connection.
Do you have a kinky question you’d like answered? Use the contact form to submit your question.
All questions will be kept anonymous unless you’d prefer to be named.
For other kinky advice, check my blog archives
Happy reading,
~B.J.
