A Loving Female-Led Relationship

  I know many of you will be happy to hear “Her Wish.  His Command” is now released.  I’ve received lots of DMs in smedia about how the book sounds just like your relationship.

This was a fun book to write.  It’s filled with banter, and it also packs the *heat*.

A big thank you to Bistagforbivixen, who told me, “I wish there were more books about the loving side of FLR.”  A discussion ensued, and the book was born.

I’ve given you the summary, but Rachel and Grant would like to talk you themselves.  They are characters and not real people, though they’ve communicated with me throughout the process.  I know you will like them as much as I do!

Rachel:  I wanted B.J. Frazier to tell our story because we have a loving female-led relationship that we created by ourselves, not with tropes.  There aren’t a lot of books about that, and I hope other people will learn from us… and get off to us!

Grant:  I think that, um, a lotta people don’t really understand what it’s like to be in a female-led relationship.  This book shows how we live by our own rules.  And, um, yeah, like Rachel said, I hope you think we’re hot.

I prefer you shop my site directly.

But I’m also in most online bookstores, like

Google Play Books
Barnes & Noble



Public Service Announcement


I have blogged a couple of times about trolling findoms online.  Recently, I have had too many conversations with a lot of you about how you’ve fallen for a girl online… and I’ve debunked your claim, stating that “she’s” just a bot.

Let me say that I get it.  Submissives who haven’t found their Dominant are highly susceptible and vulnerable.  You want so badly to submit, to please someone, and to have someone recognize you for the wonderful sub you are.

But don’t lose your rational side.  Take a moment to analyze.  Did the communication begin with a DM that said, “hey slut” or “hi slave” or “do you want to be my pussy boy”?  If it did; beware!

Those words trigger your inner sub, which is what their intent is.  Unfortunately, the “woman” will invariably ask you to move off the smedia site (mainly Tumblr, but there are more appearing in bdsmlr, too) and contact them on a chat app or in email.

Once you get there, they will demand payment.  Some will blackmail you, obtaining personal information from you all in the name of submission.

Please do not give out your personal information, and do not be fooled by those pretending to be a dominant.

Normally, they were easily spotted by their username, like MistressThis and DominatrixThat.  But they’ve gotten smarter.  They are now creating usernames by stringing four random words together, like fadingdeputyeclipserascal.

It’s designed to make you laugh, ponder it for a bit… and definitely *not* think that it’s a bot.  So be careful when you’re responding to people.

Even I get the “hey sissy” messages.  I go to their blog and read their message.  If it talks about looking for a submissive guy to train, I block it.

I know some of you have been fooled because the messages seem so personal, and they claim to be in the next state or even in the same state as you, and want to meet.  It’s important to note that they’re not really “bots” but people who are behaving like bots.  According to bdsmlr admins, that’s what make them so difficult to weed out.

Before you turn your heart over, think about how much information you post on your blog.  Does your homepage state your hometown?  Do you blog about your need to submit?  How no one understands you?

I’m not saying everyone is fake. But I am asking you to be smart… and I hope you find your forever Dominant.

If you’re looking for a good, professional Dominant who won’t charge you, check out Raina/Storm in “Best Served Cold”.




You know how much I love Mike Bowerbank’s books… and here’s another one to add to the list. It’s a YA mystery that will keep the adults guessing.

I had the pleasure of beta reading this book, and I highly recommend it!

Read my five-star review or check out his book.





This installment of Kinky Advice tackles some quick questions.

Question:  Have you ever had one of your pets wear a strap-on with a hole in the bottom so their balls would hang out and smack on your clit while they took care of your needs??

B.J.’s Answer:  No… but it’s sounds like fun, and it’s now added to my list! Thanks for the suggestion.

Question:  I just saw some scenes of an NFL game, and that brought me back to your green post recently.  Suddenly I got a question I would like to ask:  do you have Irish roots somehow?  I’m just curious!

B.J.’s Answer:  The “green post” referred to was from the MSU/U-M game, featuring Sparty, MSU’s mascot.  I confess to “bleeding green” for the Spartans, but I am not Irish-rooted.  …that I know of, I should say!  🙂  Thanks for the question, and for cheering for my Spartans!

Since those were short and directed at me, Sean felt left out.  He spent the month looking at book reviews and bulleted the best way to write one.  I have talked with several of you who wanted to write a review for me but weren’t exactly sure how to do it.

Sean, L.K. and I all love receiving reviews.  Ours are all organic, and we cherish each one.  Plus, reviews help others choose a book.  So, thank you… and here’s Sean:

How to Write a Good Review by Sean O’Toole

1.  Don’t bury the lead.

By the end of the first paragraph, you should have given the reader a reason to buy/not buy the work in question.  In essay writing, this would be your thesis.  If you give something a five-star review, your lead sentence should support that grade.

2.  Reviews are not book reports.

Do not summarize the entire plot.  Instead, identify the genre of the work and the major source of conflict.  “In the murder mystery I’m a Detective Not a Miracle Worker, Detective Jones must track down a serial killer, keep the Mayor from turning the investigation into a three-ring circus, all while trying to keep his marriage together.”  One simple sentence is all you need to provide the gist of the work.

3.  Here are some additional questions you can answer:

What was the most enjoyable aspect of this work?
How did the author keep your interest?
How does this work compare with other things you’ve read by the author? (if applicable)

5.  The ending.

Don’t give away the book’s ending but do restate your thesis and provide a buy/don’t buy recommendation.

Do you have a kinky question you’d like answered?  Use the contact form to submit your question.  All questions will be kept anonymous unless you’d prefer to be named.

For other kinky advice, check my blog archives.

Happy reading,