Did You Know?
Newsletter Subscribers
If you subscribe to my newsletter, you get a coupon off your first book. Plus, you get inside information, more coupons, and even free books! If you’re not a subscriber, make sure you sign up at the bottom of this page.
A recent subscriber sent me a thank-you note for the discount. So, I had to spread the positivity; and remind people of the benefits of subscribing.
Your Review is Important!
There are algorithms that are connected to analytics regarding book reviews. The more you have, the higher up you go. So, it’s important that you leave a review on Goodreads and also copy it to Amazon.
I know many of you worry about family members seeing your ‘zon history. Let me tell you two things: One, you can clear your browsing history under your account. Two, you can leave a review anonymously. At the upper part of the review screen, there’s an “edit” button to change your name.
All of my reviews are organic. Meaning, I have never paid for reviews. Many of you have asked what you can do for me, and my go-to response is, read my books! The other thing you can do is review the books you read.
Let’s face it: Erotica is not something you can discuss at the water cooler or casually mention in a friendly conversation. That makes reviews even more important. Just like smedia, it’s also important to “like” other people’s positive reviews. So when you find yourself with a few extra minutes, head to my Goodreads page and click that “like” button on reviews.
I’ll share some key phrases from the latest reviews of “The Dominion and the Sugilite”:
Sally Bend re eps 8-10 ~ If you’re new to the series, I strongly suggest you go back and start at the beginning, episode by episode, so you can appreciate the characters and how their lives are becoming so deliciously intertwined
rubbug re ep10 ~ The scenes were paced well and was written so cleverly making it very exciting to read. I’m looking forward to what comes next
toymax re D/s Supplement ~ The background information and the making-of provide interesting insights of the series. The D/s supplement is a MUST for every fan.
toymax re ep11 ~ It was time for the Eminence to make it clear what was appropriate and who was in charge on planet Cybele. And that’s just the Ladies.
rubbug re ep11 ~ We’re back in the world of the Dominion and from the very beginning of this episode, we’re reminded why this world is female led.
B.J.’s Online Book Club
It’s time to VOTE for the next Book Club book!
The next Online Book Club is Saturday, December 7, 2024 at 4:00 p.m., Eastern.
DM me to be included:
bdsmlr ~ Not Safe for Work
Tumblr ~ Questionably Safe for Work
Twitter ~ Safe for Work
TwitterNSFW ~ Not Safe for Work
FetLife ~ Safe for Work
Right Here ~ Safe for Work
It’s Time to Get Green!
Spartan Green, that is. WOOOOOT! What a phenomenal win this weekend! [and a great Blue loss!]
This week is the biggest game of the season, though, against our arch rivals, U-M. We need huge amounts of cheer and positive vibes!
See some good green posts? DM them to me.
And GO GREEN!
Here’s what you said after the last blog post.
Multiperv ~ haha I like the “they file a tax return more often than they have sex” Been there. Ah okay, so some It’s A Wonderful Life vibes with [“Mistletoe Bound”]. And is there kink? From this overview it doesn’t read like there is much other than maybe in the dream his wheelchair using friend may be kinky. [That line’s credit goes to Jessie Spectre! You missed the last line in the blurb: “Mistletoe Bound is the *kinky* hallmark of a wonderful life Christmas tale.” Preorder; you’ll enjoy it! :p]
You said booth setup was a breeze so I’m guessing you remembered the feet on the standup banner this time. [haha, I did!]
At this point I think I need to advise you to write and/or behave worse or you’ll have too many awards to display to leave any room for books. Though I guess you could start hanging the awards on the backdrop somehow. [Awww, thank you, MP. It’s a problem I’d love to have!]
Having now been to both, do you prefer going to Domcon or Donkey Kong? That is a funny error and I’m guessing that URL was way off as well. Yep, just verified that. [I’m glad the humor lived past the walls of that room]
As someone with hearing issues, I appreciate the speech-to-text tools, flawed as they are. [Sometimes it wasn’t picking up any speech, and Genesis (Mistress Cyan’s wife) walked up to the microphone and shouted “masturbation”! That woke it up]
I’m already looking forward to your class at Domcon LA and hope that I’m able to get into an industry only class. [I gotcha covered, MP]
I’m guessing ‘pantser’ comes from writing or flying by the seat of their pants, to use an old phrase? [It’s actually a “literary” term used by writers with the same definition]
That’s a good back of the hand, literally, tip on how not to grope on new partners while still getting the job done effectively. [I think that’s also done in medical settings, too–like, actual doctor/patient not roleplay]
Thank you for getting and including perceptions from a DomCon virgin! They’re always fun to see. [You’re welcome!]
I want to hear more about the relationship between Thomas and his aunt. Did they actually talk about kink or was it just something that went unspoken? “Why was I not (or knot?) there?” Good one. Had Thomas been to other kink events, like socials, classes, or play parties, and just never to a kink convention? [From Thomas: It never occurred to 14-year-old me to talk to her. I’m pretty sure she would probably have been horrified if anyone else knew she was reading it. My encounters were one-on-one but I’m going to attend social events and at least one play party next time.]
How do you stutter in ASL? By pausing between characters or words? Or repeating them? [Yes, that, but also not being fluid/smooth with my movements. It took me two run-throughs to get it smooth, but I didn’t have that luxury when I saw Ballerina Goddess]
Nice cliff hanging. Great job as usual. And kudos on getting the first report out so quickly. Or maybe you always have and I was just more eager this time since I couldn’t attend myself. [Thank you for noticing. I was super productive when I got home, probably because it wasn’t so late. It has normally taken me several days to get back to “normal”]
sizeerrorprojection ~ Hysterical! The baggage handlers set it up perfectly for someone to take a ride straight back to them planted firmly in place! [haha! I’m sure no one would get in trouble for riding the conveyor in that instance :p]
Submissive Ares ~ That is a great review of Mistress’ class. From how you wrote it, I feel like I am still there. I don’t remember you being at the LA one but that was a packed class. [Wonderful feedback! *I* was not present; my booth boy, sep, was at both classes and wrote the review]
servicepet ~ I enjoyed the first review. It was fun and nice to see the recap! [Glad you enjoyed… did you giggle, sp? :p]
toymax ~ Pre-order of “Mistletoe Bound” is placed, and I’m so excited to read about Nolan’s adventures. There’s also a touch of sci-fi again. Like a deviation in the timeline (reminds me of one of my favorite movies, too). [What’s your favorite movie, Max? I don’t think it’s considered sci-fi, so don’t get your hopes up]
Thank You for Your first review part, Mistress B.J., as always – You made me dream. Your booth looked awesome, and the awards were the cherry on top. [You’re welcome. Danke dir, Max!]
rubbug ~ Congrats on all your releases! I knew you had a few, but seeing them all listed that way reminded me of how much effort goes into your work. Episode 11 was awesome BTW. [Thank you, and thanks for the review on ep11, rb!]
Donkey Kong was one of my favorite games growing up, so I’m glad he has a whole board dedicated to him now! Jk, closed captions are much the same, and it’s nice to know AI messes up as badly as regular people do with captions. [haha… I thought cc was automated now, too?]
It was cool to read about Ballerina Goddess, and I’m very grateful you asked for my help with speaking with her. I will always have much love for the deaf community so it was cool I could lend a hand, or hands, with your communication with her. Looking forward to that interview. [I’m very grateful for you, rb!]
Glad you had all those booth boys helping out and that they were able to check out some things for you. The previews for the next blog posts sound interesting, particularly the chastity class. I’ll try to contain my excitement. [Chastity coming UP in this review, so you won’t need to contain for long :p]
Send me your comments, and I’ll put them in the next blog post!
BDSM Checklists
Check out my FREE BDSM Checklists.
I 
created two BDSM Checklists to assist with communication and negotiation. One is grouped by fetishes and the other is an alphabetical listing, and both have spaces for you to fill in additional ones.
Make sure you check out the Checklists! Then, let me know what you think and how you used them.
DomCon NOLA 2024 – Second Review
If you missed the First Review, here’s your link.
Here’s a warning or a promise, depending upon your perspective. Even though I was mainly relegated to the booth this time, I managed to conduct five interviews. Plus, my booth boys stepped up. Consequently, I believe the review for NOLA 2024 will need five posts; one more than the usual four.
The sense of community is prevalent at DomCon. You can see it everywhere… even in the vending area. Danny from Leather by Danny missed his flight and didn’t arrive until after vending hours Friday. Some of his helpers tried to set up the booth, and Trent from The Kink Shop walked over to explain how Danny usually does it.
Let me spell that out. Trent and Danny are competitors. But it’s not cut-throat competition. There is a sense of respect and a togetherness that you don’t find in, say, corporate America. No one asked Trent to help. He did it because he was aware of the situation.
Naturally, Danny was frazzled Friday night because the vending area needed to be locked down, and hardly any progress had been made. While I waited for the Second Line Parade to finish, I offered assistance to Danny. Sep was close behind, and, together, we covered tables in white cloth and emptied numerous stock containers. Sep also helped Danny re-rig the booth’s configuration.
Mistress Kathy was sorry to have to close the room, but Danny thanked her for allowing him extra time. The next morning, sep helped some more with the display.
If you missed, or would like to reread, my past interviews of Danny and Trent, you can find them here: Leather by Danny and The Kink Shop.
Servicepet Buys a Hat
Servicepet wanted assistance buying a hat, and we all walked a few blocks to Meyer the Hatter. At first, we showed our inexperience by grabbing anything for servicepet to try. Then Michael came to our rescue… and Thomas and sep stepped into the shadows to patiently wait.
I explained to Michael what I liked and didn’t like, and he narrowed our focus. It’s almost like he owned a hat store in a longstanding family business–Michael is a fourth generation hat man.
Even with an experienced hat man, it was a difficult choice. To feather or not to feather? A fancy band or a different colored band? How much of a crease? How much of a rim?
Initially, I was against feathers but the hat that was brought down on a ray of sunshine and heralded by a chorus of “Aaah” had a feather! Michael was quick to tell me that it could be removed, knowing my dislike for them. But I surprised him by saying it had to stay with the hat.
He was the quintessential salesman, smiling at my waffling convictions. Going along with my newfound acceptance of feathers, he offered to swap the feather for a different colored one… which he did, but I insisted on the original feather.
In the end, there were two hats that were fairly identical but with a price disparity. Being frugal, servicepet and I agreed that he could get away with the cheaper one. However, being slaves to fashion, we both coveted the more expensive one.
The latter is what servicepet bought, and it was the right decision. He wore it the rest of the weekend and got compliments from many! See the parade write-up, below, which has a picture.
Thanks for the fun adventure, servicepet! I didn’t know how much fun shopping for a hat could be! 🙂
Opening Ceremony
Mistress Precious and Genesis took center stage as they opened the 44th DomCon (twice a year for 22 years). Mistress Cyan 
stepped up to give out awards but first offered a public service announcement: Vote. She talked about the horrors of Project 2025; not the least of which would put conventions like DomCon in jeopardy. A long-time political activist and advocate, Mistress Cyan urged people to not let progress be stopped or, worse, reverted.
I need to do better at taking notes during the Opening Ceremony because I never remember the awards. Here are three I remember. Carol, Mistress Cyan’s long-term submissive, received an award for her tireless devotion of recording DomCon conventions. Mistress Kathy’s husband received an award for his extensive volunteering. And Goddess Severa was honored for her lifetime contribution to the community and for her work as a pro domme.
Second Line Parade ~ by servicepet
A second line parade refers to a funeral parade. There is a band up front, and the first line is the family and the deceased. The second line is the mourners, and where all the craziness happens. That’s the tradition. I read somewhere it took off in the black community. A parade expanded outside of a funeral and became a parade for marking different kinds of events. DomCon only does this parade in NOLA.
You have to get a permit from the city for the parade, which comes with a police escort. There are companies who bring in the marching band. It includes a band marshal along with a baton.
They actually close down roads and stop traffic for the parade, and the police clear the path. The Parade Queen marches alongside the marshal. This year’s queen was named at the Opening Ceremony: Madame Navia O’Kink.
The first time I heard about it was DomCon NOLA 2022. At the Opening Ceremony, I heard they were going to have a parade, and I thought it’d be a pretty cool thing to do in a dress. In 2022, I was one of the first ones in front of the hotel. There were a bunch of parasols and hankies, which are part of the deal, and a lot of people march with them and wave the hankies. When I started to help pass out the parasols, I became quite popular because everyone wanted those.
I was early this year, too, and one of the first people to get there. The band was late, so we had to wait between 45 minutes to an hour. By the time we got started, it was pretty close to 8:00.
I met several people as we were waiting, and I was in the wrong place at the right time. People came out and said, “we need volunteers to hold the banner.” A couple of women were already close by and volunteered. But I was standing right there where the banner was. And someone said, “the middle is broken, and we need someone to hold it in the middle…” while looking at me. He handed it to me, and, being relatively submissive, I took it. He said to hold it up and straight, and I asked whether I was holding it right… but he was gone.
So then I met two lovely individuals on either side of me. One of whom was Miss Poison Ivy from North Carolina. And the other was Juniper Woods, also from North Carolina. They’re both pro dommes.
A lot of people were masked but everyone was wearing their kink finery, expressing their kinky selves. And we were on the streets of New Orleans in the general public. To me, that was the biggest thing–marching down the streets of New Orleans in the middle of October on a Friday night. Like it wasn’t anything, just a marching band with all of these leather and latex, kinkily dressed people marching and dancing and having a great time.
As we marched, people on the streets stopped and took pictures and videos, and they were clapping. We were the center of attention. And there was something about being seen as our genuine selves out in public, because we’re so often in the community or in the scene, and self-contained. So it was validating to be out there and seen with other kinksters, and wearing it with pride.
And of course, to be holding the banner–while I wasn’t expecting that–there was a point of pride for doing it. I waved to the onlookers, doing my best Princess Di wave.
This year, it didn’t go directly down Bourbon Street. We marched straight down Canal Street, crossed Bourbon Street, then went behind the hotel, crossed over Bourbon again and came back up Canal in front of the hotel.
I kept thinking, how would I be reacting if I were sitting in a car right now? But it was a great time. I turned around every now and then and saw everyone dancing and having a great time.
There was camaraderie within the group because of the event; people you may not have met otherwise. So that was nice. And from holding the banner, I was recognized throughout the weekend by Mistress Mia and Ballerina Goddess. The two pro dommes posted pictures on FL and asked if I was okay with it having it posted.
I also introduced them to B.J., and asked for permission for her to post their picture in her blog post. They agreed, and I gave B.J. their FetLife names: Miss_Poison_Ivy_ and JuniperWoods
servicepet ~ Thanks to you, Miss Poison Ivy and Juniper Woods for sharing! You all look stunning. And that hat was made for a banner carrier! 🙂
Classes
Male Chastity: One Size Does Not Fit All – Queen Hilarity and Downlow ~ by Thomas Antonson
As the Editor at B.J. Frazier Publications, one of the first things I noticed when I walked into the classroom was a copy of “Caught in Chastity” displayed on the table in the front of the room. As part of his presentation, Downlow held up the book and gave it a nice shoutout. He also said B.J. was a vendor, and encouraged people to visit her booth.
Chastity was a topic of interest to me because there are so many images and stories about cages and caging these days that I wanted to see what all the buzz was about.
Queen Hilarity and Downlow made a great team since they talked about male chastity from both sides. Downlow has 20 years of experience in kink and is an expert on male chastity. His presentation focused on the practical aspects.
There are three main reasons for putting males in chastity: control, denial and humiliation. The Domme controls when, how or if a sub gets to use his sexual equipment or achieve an orgasm.
The fourth reason for putting a slave’s meat-and-two-veg in a cage, according to Queen Hilarity (who lives up to her moniker by being very funny) is, “It’s HOT!”
Downlow said there’s a big difference between the fantasy and reality of male chastity. Usually, the use of a cock cage is initiated by the wearer. The benefits, according to Downlown, include power dynamics, increased communication, sexual anticipation, relationship bonding, and the exploration of fantasies.
Queen Hilarity talked about the use of chastity in professional settings; i.e., paid relationships, which has its own set of dynamics and nuances. She has remote and in-person whom she places in chastity.
When it comes to chastity devices there are a ton of choices, each with its own set of positives and negatives. The basics, of course, consist of a ring that goes at the base of the penis behind the testicles (not always an easy task) and the cage itself which covers the penis and connects to the ring by means of a lock.
Downlow made a very emphatic point about keeping everything clean; both for aesthetic (odor) and health (potential for injury or infection) reasons.
There are a lot of things to consider when purchasing a chastity cage. No two human males are completely alike in the cock and balls department. Hence the title of the class – one size really doesn’t fit all.
Some advice for newbies –
• Try different styles and materials.
• Know how to put on the device
• Lube is important with nylon and other materials that may stick to the skin
• Start slowly! Don’t plan a marathon cage-wearing session as your first experience
• Be prepared for sleep deprivation if you wear a cage overnight
• Cleanliness matters!
• Have a supply of cotton swabs handy for cleaning
• Make sure there’s a spare key
• Fit! Fit! Fit!
The class discussion that followed Downlow’s presentation was lively. I learned that a custom-fitted chastity cage could cost several hundred dollars. One attendee even made his own.
Several subs offered advice to newbies on how to get your balls through the ring. It’s not as easy as you might think. If the ring is too big, the cage will come off. If it’s too small, it will be more difficult to get the ring where it needs to be.
Finally, there was a cage swap. People brought cages they were no longer using and put them on the table at the front of the room. Everyone who brought a cage got a ticket and a drawing was held. Winners got to pick out the cage they wanted from those donated.
From my perspective this class, was very informative as well as interactive. Discussion occurred at pretty much all points during the class and even after. I also came away with great respect for the practitioners of this particular kink. This is a very challenging thing to do and, for those who are up for it, the benefits far outweigh the challenges.
Vive` la difference!
Thomas ~ Thanks for sharing the insights of this class. The swap part was cool… and of course, my book!
Hard Knocks and Life Lessons from a 25-yr Industry Veteran: Let’s Discuss How You’d like Your Life to Be in the Scene – Goddess Severa
This was an industry only class that I attended with all three of my booth boys. I thank sep for his detailed notes, which I’ve incorporated into this write-up.
Goddess Severa began the class with a brief background. She was mentored by Ava Taurel in New York City. She has played with thousands of men for tens of thousands of hours. She’s been in Playboy and Penthouse, and She’s been on talk shows and podcasts. She’s had an online presence–with new content weekly since 1999–and is in full control of Her website.
“So, you’d think I know what I’m doing, but I’ve had a lot of challenges.” She points out that no one grows up wanting to be a Dominatrix. She said, “If I could go to My younger self and say, don’t do that… but you can’t do that. There’s no dress rehearsal to life.” She added that it’s taken her “25 years to finally feel, okay, now I’m a Domme. But still, there are things I need to learn all the time.”
On the board next to Her, Goddess Severa had written Her biggest challenges:
Mental Health
Being Misunderstood (from the Vanilla World)
Bad People
Playing Dirty (Drugs)
Body Image and the Male Gaze
When It’s All Too Much
Money
Fucked-up Sexuality and Relationships Combined with Mental Health Issues
Branding, Photoshoots, Content
Goddess Severa didn’t want the class to be a one-woman show highlighting all of Her screw-ups. Instead, She viewed her role as being there to serve Her audience, and asked them, “What do you need the most help with?”
The first response was how to find clients. Goddess Severa talked about specific platforms, but acknowledged that there aren’t many places to find new clients. She emphasized the importance of recurring customers as opposed to having a mass appeal. And She warned, “You can’t be everything to everyone,” stating that some people find Her to be too short. She’s 6’5″ (195.58 cm).
Also, She advised pros to make every session the best you can. The biggest criticism She hears from clients about other dates are that people weren’t interested, they were clock watchers, or it wasn’t intensive.
Goddess Severa takes being a pro Domme very seriously and with the utmost of responsibility. The first thing to do is have clear communication; a good meeting form so you can get inside their head ahead of time.
Once inside the session, the outside world shouldn’t exist. She wants Her clients to fall in love with Her. Most of the time, they will come back. She reminded people that, “it’s not up to you to fulfill everything, but, whatever you do, make sure you nail that down.”
In addition to being the best you can be, Goddess Severa also advises to be a great observer. How is the sub reacting–even not speaking is a reaction. Did he speak poorly about another Domme? Pros have to vet their clients very carefully, because clients can turn on you, be rude to you, denigrate you, and/or stalk you.
Goddess Severa had a client once who wanted to be robbed. It was a physical wrestling session, and She said “gimme your wallet” and took $20 out. After the session, he went on smedia and said She had stolen $20 from him by going through his wallet when he wasn’t there.
She says you can “only control the controllables” and the “onus is on you to control what you can.”
By the age of 12, Goddess Severa was 6’ [182.88 cm] and refers to herself as the ugly duckling. She was very shy, had braces, headgear and glasses. When She moved to New York and got into the industry, She gained confidence. People worship you, but there’s a fine line between adoration and misogyny. Being picked apart in smedia is one thing, but you can pick yourself apart, too.
Goddess Severa was very open during this class and talked about being misunderstood by the vanilla world. People who knew Her “in real life” regarded Her as terrible for being a Dominatrix. She suffered unfounded attacks in college that turned into a year-long witch hunt. One time when She was dressed professionally for a collegiate event, a family member asked Her, “oh, is that your Dominatrix outfit?” When She went to hug a classmate, his wife stopped them, saying, “no, no, I won’t allow it.”
There were other rude things She shared, summarizing it as really embarrassing. She said it’s difficult going from a shy and private person to being in smedia, where people think they know Her. It has been a burden to deal with. She’s quick to add, however, that you can’t control other people. And She believes that Her job is a service. People who are happier in their fantasy life are happier overall. She urges baby dommes to take their job seriously and be an ambassador for the community. Bit by bit, we can change people’s opinions.
If someone is rude or lies in smedia, just block them. Then She said something in German that I made her repeat specifically so I could share it with my German friends. But I accidentally deleted it–and I’m hoping Goddess Severa will read this and remind me for the next blog post!
The class continued with helpful information specific to Dommes who were starting out. In addition to the depth of insight that Goddess Severa shared openly in an effort to help the community, She did so with grace and humility.
I was moved by everything about Her… and I can’t wait to share Her with you more in a future blog post, because I had the honor of interviewing this incredible woman! If you must know more about Her now, visit her website.
Interview with SnM Leatherworks
Across the aisleway from my booth was SnM Leatherworks. I met Sean and Mary on the first day… actually, I spoke with Mary, who pointed out her husband Sean. I forgot that the next day, because I said, “hey, Sean!” as he walked by, and I was met with blank stares. But he was really nice and said hello, while he tried to figure out who I was. As I reminded him how we met, I realized we hadn’t really met… and that began our joking interaction that continued for the rest of the weekend.
Mary and I hit it off immediately and puts the “organized” in their organization. Sean is the genius behind the scenes who figures out how to make things and/or make them better.
They started their kinky life in early 2000 with a swinger lifestyle. Mary says, “I always had this thought in my mind that if my husband does not think about another woman . . . then I’m stupid.”
Sean had a one-night stand and told Mary about it. He also apologized and said he’ll pack his stuff. But she said no. She realized that it had happened when he was 500 miles away from home, and he didn’t need to tell her; but he did. So they went with it. Mary likens it to “trying on new pairs of jeans” and “she has her favorite pair”.
They have an open marriage with rules. The primary rule is communication. They tell each other about their “jeans”, and talk about things. She travels for work, and he’s home, so they do their own things. But they always come home to each other.
They met when they worked at the same place. Sean asked her out in the parking lot by saying, “Let’s go on a date.” Mary responded, “I don’t need anyone.” Their first date was March 18, and Mary was pregnant on April 17. Mary jokes that Sean got to know her as a crazy pregnant woman. Twenty-nine years later, with two daughters and a kinky lifestyle, their relationship now is like it was when they were newlyweds. They have fun.
Fun is a great way to describe them. We laughed, joked and talked throughout the weekend.
Their girls were little when Mary and Sean turned kinky. They decided to do pervertables to keep the kids’ eyes away from everything. But the kids grew up and unlocked a box when they were 12 and 10. Mary sat them on the bed and asked, “what are your questions?”
Their daughters figured out the lifestyle thing when they were 16. Alyson, the eldest, doesn’t have a problem with it, but the younger one prefers not to talk about it. In fact, Alyson helps them with designs and attends conventions with them; and was at DomCon.
Mary is a flight paramedic in rural Montana, where her ambulance is an airplane. She helps transfer patients from small hospitals to big cities so they can get better care. Sean has a GED and was an EMT in the Army. He’s MacGyver to Mary because he can look at something and figure it out mechanically.
That skill came in handy when one of his new playmates wanted a new toy. When Sean looked at the prices, he decided he could make them on his own. And he did. Then he took them to a club, and people wanted to buy them. Sean was afraid of getting kicked out of the club for selling, but the owner of the club bought toys, too!
And that’s how SnM Leatherworks got started in April of 2022, when they first began to sell. Sean and their daughter Alyson do the production and hard work while Mary keeps the books… and the peace… and the sanity. *grin*
Sean got advice from a pro that he should not sell things that he hasn’t experienced for himself. So he has a female friend who tests every item on him. For two hours, she went toy by toy employing a kiss, a lick and a bite with each one. That way, Sean understands how each one feels in each setting.
He has titled himself as a pleasure dom because he gives the bottom what they need, and he doesn’t have a desire to live it 24/7.
Sean returns the favor for Mary, because she does not trust anyone else with that type of play. She is more into the sensual side of kink, and only gets the kiss and lick tests. She prefers sensory deprivation. “The more you take away, the more the leftovers are heightened,” Mary told me. She also enjoys cupping and wax play, and it’s something the couple learned together.
She had Sean create suspension cuffs that are more comfortable for people with carpal tunnel. Sean’s cuffs create zero pressure on wrists nor do they let them hang. Panic straps are an extra feature so you can let the sub down without dropping them.
Sean has learned that people like doubles of things. So he makes toys in pairs. He’s always learning and has some new projects in store.
Sep was impressed with the craftsmanship of their products–and not just because I used one on him. Here is a picture of a flogger that Sean is making for me, compliments of sep. Isn’t it gorgeous?! I can’t wait to use it in L.A.! 
NOLA was SnM’s first domcon, and they love it. Initially, they said it was too far to travel to return to DomCon L.A. But they said the networking has been amazing, and the partnership of the different vendors has been one of sharing. Mary said there were three or four different vendors with floggers, and each is different. They shared their sources for leather and other info.
Mary said, “it’s not competition; it’s family. We’re here to support each other.” Because of that, SnM committed to going to L.A. by the end of the weekend.
Sneak preview: Mary and I will discuss cross-marketing strategies in L.A., where I will incorporate one of their products into one of my books, and we will cross-promote them both!
Learn more about SnM Leatherworks products at their website and on FL as snmleatherworks
To Mary, Sean and Alyson ~ It was awesome to have you guys as booth-mates. I loved getting to know you, and all the jokes! Can’t wait for L.A. Specifically to Sean – my flogger is NOT pink! 😀
Preview of Things to Come
Classes:
Tapping into Your Sub Energy
Raven’s Razors: The Sharp and Shiny Experience
Engaging with Primal Play
Impact Play from the Bottom’s Perspective
Interviews:
Goddess Aroya
Genesis
Domina Ballerina Goddess
Goddess Severa
Miscellaneous:
Paying it Forward
Stickers
Original Readers and an Early Review
Queen Hilarity and 100 Pokes
Around New Orleans
Mistress Mia and Agatha
Rookie Booth Boy Musings
Three Daiquiris and Three Dudes…
Tell me what you thought of this post and see your comment in the Community Kink Chat section of the new blog post. And don’t forget to check out my New Releases section!
Do you have a kinky question you’d like answered? Use the contact form to submit your question. All questions will be kept anonymous unless you’d prefer to be named.
For other kinky advice, check my blog archives.
Happy reading,
~B.J.
