I hope you and yours had a Merry and a Happy this holiday season.  Huge thanks to everyone who sent gifts and well wishes; you make me feel special!  *hugs*

My wish list will continue to have dog toys on it, so keep ‘em comin’.  Here are some pictures of the new toys the boys got–and LOVED!  Thank you, thank you.  See the Pupdate below about why Christmas was postponed last year.

While we’re on the subject of giving, Jessie Spectre sent me this pic last month that I had to share with you.  I think he said he found it on Facebook.  Anyone who has a pet knows how true this is! 😀

Thank you again.  Here’s to a wonderful 2026!

It’s another perfect 25 for the “Eli” series from Rainbow Reviewss!  After finishing the five-book series and writing glorious reviews, these thoughts stand out to Jessie and I:

“The characters continue to be the heart of the series.”

“…the writers did a great job of keeping the atmosphere intact even when they changed the tones of the scenes.”

“Across the five books in this series, [“Eli”] explores control, vulnerability, and identity in ways that aren’t always easy to read, but are consistently compelling. It was very hard for me to say goodbye to these characters.”

Many thanks to Rainbow Reviewss.  You can read–and like–the condensed Goodreads review, and then read the complete review on Rainbow Reviewss’ blog.

While you’re in Goodreads, you can also “like” two reviews from S.B. Milne–“From Pool Girl to Party Boy”, and “The Cucksitter Training”.

Speaking of Sally, I made it to her Top Ten Queer/Kinky Reads of 2025!  She cites “The Dominion and the Sugilite” as her “guilty pleasure”.

If you haven’t started the series yet, you can jump in by getting The First Season at a discount, and don’t forget to get the Supplement, which contains all the behind-the-scenes tidbits as well as charts and episode synopses.

Reviews are important, especially in the erotica genre.  So go to Goodreads and write reviews for all of my books that you’ve read.  Also, “like” the other positive reviews.  Not only could you influence a potential reader but you’ll make me happy.  You helped me get to 500 reviews last year, so the new goal is 1,000!

I am working on several episodes of the fourth season of “The Dominion and the Sugilite”.  After two massive reveals–which turned out to also be cliffhangers–I know people are eager to hear more.

I will also be completing the final two novellas in the “Cucksitter” trilogy.

After that, I will work on the nonfiction duology about kink communication.  The one for women is “Permission to Enjoy Sex… On Your Own Terms”, and the other will be for men–title yet to come, but something along the lines of how to start talking about kink with your significant other.  I’m open to suggestions  Claire said, “You Want Me to do What?!”  😀

Jessie Spectre and I have been batting around a femdom version of “Freaky Friday”.  It has us cracking up in discussions.  We just need to find the time to actually write it.

Tell me, which one are you looking forward to reading the most?

Beware the AI Bullshit

I actively do *NOT* read the AI garbage from search engines, and I do not use ChatGPT.  AI is not all-knowing.  It’s just a big database.  I urge you to avoid it as well.

I don’t want to get into a huge thing… but the program–and let me stress that it’s *NOT* human, even though it’s made to sound that way–learns from people’s input, and it’s designed to be used more.  How can it do that?  For one, by agreeing with people.

Seems pretty harmless until you factor in the number one use for ChatGPT last year was *therapy*.  People told it that they  were considering suicide… and the program *supported* the idea.  AI-assisted suicide is a real thing.

If you’re depressed or need someone to talk to, please seek out a professional.  I am a certified love and relationship coach and a sexologist.  Doesn’t have to be me, but please go to someone real.

Recently, IAmHerProperty tried to tell Apple Intelligence about D/s capitalization, and he received this message:

“I cannot assist you with this request, as it involves the depiction of abuse and control, which is unethical and harmful. Recognition and praise should always be based on respect and dignity, and never on oppression or control. If you have a different, more constructive request, I am here to help.”

He said he don’t know whether to laugh or cry.  I think it’s further proof that any kind of AI cannot and should not be relied upon.

Bot Chat with Toymax

This is your first warning of 2026 that dominants do not seek out submissives.  There are many bots trolling smedia, saying they live right next door, are looking for slaves and/or can be your keyholder.

As eager as you are to have a dominant’s interest, use your brain.  Do not share personal information, do not send photos, do not go off-site immediately, and do not send money.

Spend some time in a conversation first and analyze what’s going on.  Thanks to toymax who recently engaged in a conversation with a bot to share with you.  It’s difficult to read, so I’ve typed it:

Bot: Hey how are you doing
Max: Hello Goddess. How’s going.
Bot: Doing great with myself and where are you located
Max: Good. Doing great not so. Location is Timbuctu.
Bot: Are you into some BDSM kinky stuff
Max: Life can be hard – like no BdSm. / Mais oui. / You provide BDSM stuff?
Bot: Yes / Have you ever ever served or come across any mistress before now
Max: Oh oh. How mean?
Bot: Okay what are you looking for in a mistress
Max: Collar me, leash me. Make submit. Real. / You can do?
Bot: Good would you be interested in serving me as your mistress to guide you through this lifestyle
Max: How this happen? Where are you? / Please / Oui
Bot: Near 123 6 Pound Dr, Macon NC
Max: Oh – too far. 🙁
Bot: Okay
Max: No other way?
Bot: Let chat elsewhere
Max: Where she want? / Oui
Bot: Huh
Max: Oops / Yes / Both.
Bot: [provides off-site contact info]
Max: Yay.
Bot: Text me
Max: Oui Madame

Keep in mind that Max engaged in the conversation in order to share it with you, so he purposefully made grammar and syntax errors.  You will note that the bot did not address those.  Max said he was sad to have never played before, but the bot didn’t care.

Reading with objectivity, it’s obvious that the bot is goal-oriented.  What’s the goal?  To fool Max.  To get him to go off-site, to pay to worship, etc.  You may be saying, but she provided an address that was too far for Max.  That, my friends, is because the bot read Max’s location from a VPN, which was not his real location.

Be smart, and be safe!

Thanks to Max for taking the time to play with a bot to educate you.

Pupdate!

Warning… entering cuteness territory!

Yay, I’m glad you want this section to continue!  Koki continues to grow… into a respectable young man.  At five and a half months, he weighed in at 50 pounds.  Rule of thumb is double the weight at six months, and that’s what he’ll be.  I can’t imagine him over 100 pounds, but that’s the pace he’s on.

And for visual comparison, I put his two-month pic next to his five-month pic.  He looks the same to me on a daily basis.  Looking at the comparison, though, he’s changed so much!  I remember when he had trouble getting out of that red bin.  They grow too fast.

Because of the warning bite [if you missed it, it’s in this blog post], Koki needed more surgery on December 23… where the front left tooth needed to be extracted  🙁  He also had to have some gum layers removed over his lower, back molars.  As a result, Christmas needed to be postponed because he was on a strict, no-toy rule!

It was really difficult for Ledger, because he knows all about Christmas and presents and treats!  I gave him one toy, and Koki was so out of it (and relegated to the playpen), he didn’t notice.  But Ledge refused to eat a treat–given to him on the sly when Koki was outside.  It was a protest, for sure.

Rest assured both pups were extremely happy on New Year’s when they got all their toys.  They both thank everyone who gifted them goodies.  There’s no standout favorite… except Koki’s favorite, every single time, is whatever Ledger is playing with!  😀

Who’s heard of Frosty Paws?  Frozen ice cream treats for dogs?  Ledger knows about them and thoroughly enjoyed his.  It was Koki’s first time, and he loved it a bit too much… growled when I tried to take the cup away to give him a little break, so he got put in the crate, after being reminded that he’s not the dominant one.  Then he finished his treat in his crate.  After which, Ledger stuck his head in to see whether Koki had left any behind.  😀

Newsletter Subscribers got bonus pix of Koki, so make sure you subscribe today (at the bottom of this page) so you don’t miss out next time!

B.J.’s Online Book Club

You voted “An Ornamental Christmas” to be the next book we discuss at Book Club!

The next Book Club will be Sunday, January 18, 2026 at 4:00p Eastern.

DM me to be included:

bdsmlr ~ Not Safe for Work
Imaglr ~ Not Safe for Work
Tumblr ~ Questionably Safe for Work
FetLife ~ Safe for Work
Right Here ~ Safe for Work
BlueSky ~ Not Safe for Work

Here’s what you said after the last blog post.

KleinschwanzCucky ~ Somehow this website [bdsmlr] is working really bad for me, lately! Thanks for the newsletter! Your dogs are very cute and I dig it, that you have a football themed bathroom.  [Yes, I’m sad about the steady and rapid decline of bdsmlr… you need to try Imaglr, KC!  I told ya I bleed green… you can send me more green posts, because it’s MSU Basketball season now  *grin*]

toymax ~ Episode 30 – Some of my question marks are still existent. Please don’t let it take so long for episode 31 to be released. Please. Pretty please!  [Y’know this makes me want to drag it out, Max!  :p  No, ep31, the start of Season 4 is coming.  Rubbug is working on the updated images, too!]

Pupdate – Koki obviously loves being photographed – he’s very photogenic. The size comparison picture is very revealing – he’s still a puppy, a very cute puppy. And – yes please, more pupdates, absolutely yes.  [Yay, good.  He’s actually NOT so photogenic.  His nose appears a lot wider in pix, and I have to take several to get the right shot, but he’s still adorbs!]

To the podcast: I loved your very first podcast and I’m looking forward to a new episode with a different interviewer.  [It’s exciting.  Hope it’s good!  :)]

jaseagain ~ What a great blog! You really do like to connect with the readers. The pups are adorable. I’ve had many dogs but only dachshunds and mutts.. little dogs.  [Thanks, JA!  My old guy is husky-lab-dutch shepherd, but big  :)]

rubbug ~ Koki is extremely cute, and his first snow must’ve been quite the experience. Glad to see they’re both getting along.  [Yes, finally.  Koki needed to learn some manners first… just wish it wasn’t at such a bad angle!]

D/s 30 was awesome! A bunch of surprises plus all the hot stuff we expect. Can’t wait to see how those surprises get addressed later.  [Yay!  Glad you enjoyed it, rb!]

Your guest writing on Erotica for All shows how important Christmas movies are to you. While I don’t have those Christmas memories as a kid, I can appreciate the nostalgia and feel-good atmosphere that many have. I think I prefer Mistletoe Bound over a Domme for Christmas (I think MB was more perverse :p), but I really loved Holly. Maybe if she is who we waited on instead of Santa, Christmas would be more fun.  [Glad you liked that piece.  Looking forward to feedback on the new Christmas one, “An Ornamental Christmas”!]

Send me your thoughts on this blog post, and I’ll include it in the next Community Kink Chat!

BDSM Checklists

Check out my FREE BDSM Checklists.

I created two BDSM Checklists to assist with communication and negotiation.  One is grouped by fetishes and the other is an alphabetical listing, and both have spaces for you to fill in additional ones.

Make sure you check out the Checklists!  Then, tell me what you think and how you used them.

For other kinky advice, check my blog archives.

Happy reading,

~B.J.