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I’ve been a bit busy (more below–pun not intended). Thank you for your well wishes in smedia, where I have *not* been the past couple of weeks. But I’ve been thinking of you! I finished my service sub (extra-long) novella, prepared for Eli 3’s release, plotted with Jessie on the last two Eli books, and worked on that checklist I left you hanging with the last time.
I know many of you are waiting for my BDSM Checklist. I hoped to have it to you by now but it’s taking me a lot longer than I expected. In an effort to make it super easy to use, it has made for a ridiculously time-consuming task. But it’ll be worth it!
Not only will you be able to print and fill it out manually but I’m also creating a fillable form. Plus, I’m making not one but TWO checklists.
I will try to get them completed soon. When they’re finished, I’ll send a quick email with the link. Another reason to be a subscriber.
*Teaser Alert* You’ll also want to be in on something I’m planning–actually TWO somethings. It’s early days and guaranteed cool af, BUT it will only be available to newsletter subscribers. So don’t miss out; sign up today!
Why are you still reading… Sign. Up. For. My. Newsletter. Now!
Community Chat
If you missed the last blog post, check it out here.
submissiveforDomme ~ I just read your latest blog post. Great advice. You can never start too early teaching your kids how to be careful and what to look out for.
I can hardly wait until you post your checklist thingy. I think that could be helpful for me. And hopefully I will get some good ideas from it. [It’s coming soon!]
toymax ~ Thanks for bringing up the sextortion theme. It’s a shame we even have to talk about it. I’m not on Audible, but I would love to hear more of Your audiobooks. I know I have absolutely no idea how much work it is, but I love listening to Your voice. Now that I know how Your voice sounds, every time I read one of Your hot books, I imagine You read it aloud. Your laptop situation makes me sad and happy. I would love to help You more, but I’m happy I can help at all. Your BDSM Checklist is something to look forward to. Maybe I’ll find the possibility and – most of all the braveness – to go a big step further. [I’m still waiting to hear from the tech to swap out the battery *sigh*. You’re very sweet! Next up will be me reading “He Wanted It” and Thomas Antonson reading “It Wasn’t What I Wanted”. Checklist on the way!]
rubbug ~ It’s cool that you constantly put out warnings for people. I tend to think that most people know better, but people can be manipulated. You’re like a guardian in that, giving warnings to people that are too horny to know better. There is a lack of knowledge to what the internet can be, and is, and it’s cool you call attention to the corrupt, fucked up portion of it. [I hope it helps! By the way, bdsmlr admins are going through an overload of bot reports, so keep it up!]
You helped Seblin celebrate his birthday last week. See the safe results post on a Not Safe For Work site.
The Rear View
I wasn’t going to share this with you because it’s kinda gross and not something you talk about in mixed company–which is hysterical considering everything else I share with you guys!
But I learned some interesting facts that may help you. A few of you know I had my first colonoscopy this week. I did a bunch of research on what method of prep, including talking to some of you. Thanks for the input!
For those of you who don’t know, a colonoscopy, in simple terms, is where a doctor looks at your colon and makes sure there’s nothing there that shouldn’t be. In order for the doctor to get a good view, the path has to be clear. So, they give you medicine to clear you out.
Basically, you have two options. There’s either a new pill called SUTAB or the disgusting drink stuff called Golytely. Pronounced “go lightly”. Someone with a Master’s degree in Sarcasm thought that was an adorable name since, sure, you “go”, but it sure as SHIT (sorry) ain’t “lightly”!
Oh geez, did I just trip some of your hard limits? Scat is actually a hard limit of mine, and I promise I’m done talking about that.
The hardest part about this procedure is the prep. Here’s a good tip to file away for your next one: Start the cleansing process a couple of days beforehand. I took this advice and ate light for 36 hours prior–no meat, no seeds (actually, you’re supposed to stop eating anything with seeds for five days prior but I didn’t read the material until too late), no dairy, and lots of water.
Your real prep starts the day before the procedure, and you can’t have any solid food, only liquids and Jell-O, popsicles, non-dairy sorbet, etc. But there’s a catch: You can’t have anything that’s red or purple. All the good flavors are either red or purple! I subjected myself to orange Jell-O and sorbet, and pineapple popsicles.
Another great tip I found was to mix the Golytely with Gatorade. I was in the grocery aisle, with the original flavor in my cart, when I came across this gem: Gatorade has a *WHITE* cherry flavor! I put the original back and grabbed a pack of the cherry. It tastes good, and I mixed it with the Golytely stuff, disregarding their flavor packet, and left it in the fridge overnight.
I’m going to skip the rest of the prep because, even though I had no problems with the taste, I did have… 
um… I’ll just say there’s a stinging factor that did not *sit* well with me. [an ACTUAL use for that poop emoji!]
Fast forward to the procedure. I had an excellent nurse, who’s been in service for over 30 years. I asked her the following questions, which I pass along:
Question: I’m not a fan of the whole thing so far. What do you think about going the Cologuard route?
Answer: There are far more problems with that. Those tests give false negatives and false positives. So they’re highly unreliable. But more than that, insurance companies tend to only pay for one diagnostic test. If you do the Cologuard and it comes back positive, then you have to do the colonoscopy so the doctor can see what’s really going on.
Well, at that point, the insurance company says, since there’s nothing definitive and the doctor wants a colonoscopy to do more diagnosing… you’ve already had one diagnostic test, so you have to pay for the entire procedure. It’s far more expensive to do the colonoscopy, so it’s better to do it the first time, get the right results, and get it paid.
Question: Why doesn’t the doctor use those pills that have a camera inside?
Answer: I’m pretty sure you still have to prep with it. But most insurance companies don’t pay for it. It’s also better designed for the upper GI portions. And the biggest drawback is the doctor can’t control the camera.
Question: What do you think of the new pill because I don’t trust any meds that recently come out?
Answer: When they first came out several years ago, their effectiveness wasn’t great. But I also think most people take the pill and nothing else. Meaning, you still have to drink a lot of water with the pill.
Question: What are you going to use for your next procedure?
Answer: I actually have to get one later this year, and I’m going with the SUTAB.
Interjection: What?! After all the negative things you said about it?!
Answer (laughing): Yeah, but I think it’s gotten better. But I also know that I have to drink, and I don’t have a problem drinking on my own.
Everyone else at the center was exceedingly competent and nice. Can’t say enough good about ‘em!
I know I haven’t really painted a great picture to make you go out and do one… so let me also tell you that my nurse’s husband had one when he was younger. He had some precancerous polyps that could’ve led to death. Because he found them early, they were able to extract them, monitor, and he’s alive and well today.
So… ahem… I’m so sorry, but I canNOT avoid this (nor can I keep the snarky grin off my face)–go and get your poop hole probed!! :p
You’re welcome.
Meet Jessie!
Thank you, BJ, for this opportunity to introduce myself. My name is Jessie Spectre, and I have been collaborating with BJ to write the Eli book series. It’s been an honor to work with the undoubted queen of erotica, and I hope those of you who read them enjoy the twists and turns (and kinks) along the road in our stories.
I’ve been writing for many years, but this is the first time I’ve written erotica. To team up with BJ for my first attempt is a bit like saying I’ve been driving on the roads for 30 years but I’d like to do track racing… and being put straight into in a NASCAR. I’m lucky to have a very experienced co-driver in BJ, who is an awesome talent, and I just LOVE working with her.
To the readers who have begun the series and provided feedback to BJ, thank you. She has shared it with me, and I’m very grateful for the support you’ve given me.
To the future readers of the Eli books, please let us know what you think of them as we value all your feedback. We hope there are some bits to make your heart race, some to make your heart break, and a quite few which will get some of your other parts of throbbing…
Thanks to you all for reading this and to BJ for making me a part of her wonderful writing world.
Jessie
Jessie, you make my heart swell!
However, I’ve never been compared to a car before, and, while I get the overall meaning, I can’t help but think you were undoubtedly referring to how I handle a stick shift :p
Plus, isn’t he adorable with his phrasing “we value all your feedback”?? That’s the polite way of phrasing what you’ve heard me say tons of times–I’m a feedback whore! *grin*
Eli – Book Three ~ The Perversion
Eli is confused. One minute Bernie is hot for him and the next he barely seems to notice Eli’s existence. Attempting to make Bernie run hot only, Eli embraces his inner fem and becomes ever more submissive.
Not that he minds one bit.
He’s horny all the time and nearly every man he sees looks good, even Bernie’s disgusting driver.
Eli goes down a rabbit hole and finds that wonderland and living a fairy tale can become real when Bernie sends him on a very special delivery dressed as Little Bo Peep.
Not that he can’t take the initiative at times. Encouraged by alcohol, Eli agrees to a girls’ night with friend, housemate and kindred spirit, Philip.
Can they pass as girls?
Will Bernie find out?
Or will something bad happen?
Dazed and depressed after things go very wrong, Eli is easily led by Clem, the wise femdom, into an evening of debauchery, which opens his eyes to new possibilities, a new audience and secret ways to make money.
Can Eli keep Bernie close and still embrace his new discovery?
Gay erotica from the delicious minds of B.J. Frazier and Jessie Spectre.
“Eli” is a series and meant to be read in order. Please note the Introduction contains spoilers.
Contains: Gay Sex; Femboy; LGBTQ; Anal; Chastity Cage, Male Chastity; Multiple Partners; Older Man/Younger Man, Gay Erotica, Erotic Romance, Twink
Severe Content Warning: B.J. Frazier Publications books contain *plots* and *well-developed characters*
P.S. ~ Newsletter subscribers received a coupon the day of its release!
A 5* Review from Sally Bend
Sally read the first box set of the “Perchance to Dream” series… and loved it!
Read the review on Sally’s site. Then read the books!
I recently joined a Femdom Erotica Writers group in Twitter, where I had the pleasure of getting to know 
Podopheleus. He is a submissive man who recently wrote a non-fiction book “Triple Formed” with tips on circumventing the professional domme scene.
He was recently interviewed on Off the Cuffs, which is a kink and BDSM podcast. I listened to the show, then sent some questions to Pod, as he’s more affectionately known.
https://radiopublic.com/off-the-cuffs-a-kink-and-bdsm-pod-WDOon9/s1!0834f
The show would be attractive to submissive men, so listen first. Then read my interview of sorts with Pod:
Me: “What rhymes with foot fetish?”
Pod: Here’s a bar from next book:
“Since childhood, craved to embrace my foot fetish
Castles in spain, yet remained my purist wish”
Me: It seems like you have to be independently wealthy to support your pro domme habit?
Pod: I’m not independently wealthy, however, I’m 38 and I’ve been working since I was 20. So I’ve saved some many of the years, to allow myself to session once a month or every couple of months.
Me: Was your wife pissed for approaching her AFTER you saw a pro domme?
Pod: Surprisingly, she was ok with it. When I first told her what I did and then asked for her consent to continue visiting prodommes, she appreciated the honesty, and now I’m very open and transparent with her about everything. My wife has listened to most of my podcasts, read Triple-Formed and my blogs. At first, she didn’t understand it, but now she gets my advocacy and is supportive of my mission.
Me: You’ve made a point of talking about a lack of a personal attachment or connection with pros… what about the jealousy end of it? Any from your wife? Are you ever left thinking, man, this is SO great, but I really wish my wife would do this?
Pod: At the beginning, when wifey didn’t understand it all, she thought I’d might be sleeping with the Dommes, and that created bad feelings between us. But now she gets that’s not the case, there’s no jealousy, she understands, it’s a money exchange relationship. My wife is not dominant, it is what it is. I’d never try and change her, cuz that could knock her confidence in making her feel that she’s not enough, that’s why I proposed to visit prodommes.
Me: If you’re not independently wealthy–and I assume your kids are somewhat young-ish?–do you plan on having a chat with them about your “other” life? Flipside, what if they come across your voice either online or while you’re being interviewed?
Pod: Kids are very little, so way too early to have talks with them. But when they’re at a certain age where we can discuss adult stuff, I’d like to be open and transparent with them about everything.
Me: Do you plan on attending DomCon LA in May?
Pod: I’d love to, but due to working full time and raising little people, — that seems unlikely.
Check out Pod’s Twitter feed and website.
…and come see me at DomCon LA in May! This just in: Mistress of Ceremonies will be Goddess Phoenix! If you missed my interview with her at DomCon NOLA, be sure to read it here.
Question: Thought of you as Mich State plays Mich. Are they your biggest rival (I know about Mich vs OSU). Also thought of you as I visited nearby Spartanburg SC. Possible retirement locale for a Spartan fan?
Answer: Yep, biggest rival… as well as the team playing Michigan. * grin * I’ll have to check out Spartanburg!
A huge shoutout to MSU families, students and staff. Sending positive vibes to those still in the hospital. And a heartfelt cyber hug to the friends and families of Arielle Anderson, Brian Fraser and Alexandria Verner.
My youngest is a student at MSU, and she had plans to go out with friends that night, because there have been many false reports this year. Had they gone, they would’ve been in the path of the shooter’s flight. I am hugely grateful they didn’t go… I was in the Bahamas when I found out.
You’ve heard this so many times but: Please make sure you hug someone today. Tell that special person how much you think about him/her. Celebrate today while you have it.
*hugs* to you all!
Do you have a kinky question you’d like answered? Use the contact form to submit your question. All questions will be kept anonymous unless you’d prefer to be named.
Thanks for the great questions and comments!
For other kinky advice, check my blog archives.
Happy reading,
~B.J.
