February is the month for love and romance. I have three ways for you to celebrate it… and one way for you to shun it!
I have paired some romance books. So, all month long, when you add them in tandem to your cart, you will automatically get a discount on these romantic pairings:
*Basic Romance* ~ Mistress Managed – The Complete Set
Read the trilogy the way it was written: As one book! Now 25%
The he said/she said version of a husband coaxing his wife into dominating him. Add both books to your cart, and you will automatically receive 25% off!
The erotic romance series akin to “The Love Boat” and “Fantasy Island”. The two-book opener centers on sex-chatting, online dating, a sex resort for women, and a kind of whodunit. “Abandoned” is next in the series, and includes a naïve southern belle, a dastardly preacher, and the sex resort for women. Buy all three and get 25% off!
These two books give you FOUR hot, short stories to take your mind off romance! Buy them both and save 25%
A compilation of three, gay short stories as follows:
Fun in the Steam Room
On a cold, winter day, a chubby older man finds a kindred spirit in the local steam room… and gets the experience of a lifetime.
My First Black Experience
When a forty-something midwestern man started exploring his bi side, he’d never been with a man of another race. Stepping out of his racial comfort zone, he learns a lot and has a great time.
What happens when a closeted gay man discovers someone who knows how to push ALL of his buttons?
I just finished the draft of my thirtieth book! It is a short story about a socially inept young man who eavesdrops on a couple’s conversation while commuting from work. He overhears more than he bargains for… and finds himself in a very kinky situation!
Subscribers to my newsletter got a sneak peek of the opening. Sign up for my newsletter at the bottom of the page, and you, too, will receive sneak peaks, coupons and the latest news!
Have you taken the quiz yet? A fun personality quiz to match you with one of my characters. Try it out and let me know your results!
New feature of the “Ask” section is a She Said/He Said perspective, where you get answers from me and Sean O’Toole.
Question: So I was wondering what erotica authors you read or influenced you or you learned most from? Thank you.
B.J.’s Answer: Thanks for the question. I didn’t have access to (or even know about) erotica when I was younger. I read “Forever” by Judy Blume and was intrigued. I also enjoyed the sex scenes in Ayn Rand’s “The Fountainhead”.
When I was older, I read Sean O’Toole’s work… and knew I had to share him with the world. I currently read some of my Twitter friends’ books. Those I think you would enjoy, because they reach the same levels of quality as my books, I share with you. Read more about those authors on my Kinky Links page.
As for the influencing part, I write from experience. I also use my wicked imagination, and fold in some fantasy. “Caught in Chastity” was a bsmlr’s fantasy with my twist. And the “Perchance to Dream” series was inspired by another bdsmlr who took a sleep test and thought I could make it erotic. He was right!
Sean’s Answer: I’ve been writing erotica for a LONG time (late 1970s) and reading it for longer than that. My earliest scribblings (and they were, in fact, handwritten in spiral notebooks) were written because I had no ready access to “wank” material. I wish I’d been able to preserve them. I didn’t write much until I had my own computer in a private office in the early 1990s. Most of that is gone as well.
Non-erotica authors whose work has had a big impact on my writing include Elmore Leonard and Robert B. Parker, from whom I learned how to write conversations that sounded like they might actually involve real human beings. I’m not making the claim that my work is comparable to theirs. But I learned from them.
Question: Something I have been mulling over, I have noticed some survey regulars often give answers that could be considered rebellious, or bratty, for want of a better term. I also have a submissive female I’m very close to, who is submissive but quite bratty at times with her dommes.
I, however, am more about complete submission and would never consider being a brat. I just serve my domme to the best of my ability to ensure her happiness. So my question is, from a dominant’s perspective, which kind of submissive is preferable; one who rebels sometimes and needs correction, or one who is completely devoted to your service?
B.J.’s Answer: Thanks for the question and your reflections. As for my Creative Survey (NSFW link in bdsmlr, which comes out every Tuesday and Friday), I feel like the “regulars” answer for themselves. Meaning, they’re not trying to goad me but to explain situations that they’d enjoy. There are some who refer to my books in their answers in attempts to earn brownie points. 🙂
But for your specific question, I believe there are varying degrees of submission and dominance. Just like there are personalities within professions (i.e., not all doctors are cold, some accountants can be goofy, etc), there is a scope to D/s. Some people prefer pain (to give and to receive), some people prefer to give themselves completely, and some prefer to challenge the rules. I don’t believe there’s one right way to be. Rather, it’s about matching the right kind of submissive with the right kind of dominant.
I’d feel remiss if I didn’t also add that if you are submissive and not truly enjoying your time with your dominant, it’s okay to walk away! There is a dominant for you. The experience should be good for both of you (or more).
Sean’s Answer: As B.J. points out, and I agree, there are more flavors of D/s relationships than Baskin Robbins. I think there are some Dominants who prefer a little bit of the brat from time to time. And I don’t think submission and bratiness are mutually exclusive. Nor is one better than the other. It all depends on what two people negotiate as the terms of their relationship. Dommes and subs need clear and open communication about wants, needs, responsibilities, and expectations.
If a submissive has a strong streak of rebellion, he will only respond to an equally powerful Dominant. These types of subs crave punishment and correction, and it takes a powerful Dominant to control them without being topped from the bottom.
I also agree with B.J. that if you’re not comfortable or enjoying your time with a Domme, you have the option of walking away. I would add that it’s good to have a conversation about needs and expectations… which should happen at the beginning of the relationship.
D/s relationships are just like any other relationship–only much more complicated.
Do you have a kinky question you’d like answered? Use the contact form to submit your question. All questions will be kept anonymous unless you’d prefer to be named.
For other kinky advice, check my blog archives