Preorder This is Knot DomCon – Book Two
Kinky fantasy and even kinkier reality merge once again as B.J. Frazier’s cast of characters continue their epic adventures at DomCon L.A. Mystery and mischief are everywhere, and answering some questions causes more naughty intrigue.
Can Lennie make KJ disappear?
Will Goddess Serena seek revenge upon the Hollywood sleaze?
Can Jeneca control Keegan?
Will Stephanie find her dominance?
Can anything be done about the anti-sexworker morality police who control smedia?
Plunge into the pages and immerse yourself in kinky pleasures… find out whether Pierre can be rattled, Clem can be messed with or Vicky and Rachel can find extra partners.
And that’s not all!
Time to get comfy in a safe haven of Me Time and gorge yourself on a smorgasbord of BDSM delights with side orders of power exchange encounters that will leave you satisfied yet craving the final installment.
Preorder today and get the book downloaded on January 30th!
Reviews give “This is Knot DomCon – Book One” five stars! Sally Bend closed out her year of reading 124 books with “DomCon”, and gave it 5*s.
You know Sally from her perfect score of 25 for the “Eli” series–which also made her Top Ten List for 2023.
Speaking of Eli… several of you jumped the DomCon preorder before I could promote it, so newsletter subscribers received a coupon code to try the “Eli” series (or for any book in the series if they’d already started it). Don’t miss another special offer; sign up for my newsletter today!
Preorder “DomCon” then read Eli now. You’ve heard the Eli hype for so long, you know that you simply have to find out what it’s all about! …What’s that? You want to finish this blog post before you read several of my books? Good answer! Proceed… *grin*
Sex in the News
Is Sexting with a Porn Star Clone Better than Talking with a Live Person?
Mashable’s article, “Sex workers are cloning themselves with AI to make sexy chatbots”, is an interesting read with philosophical and kinky considerations.
Apparently, sex workers’ in-boxes are so full that some have resorted to cloning themselves in cyberspace. What does this mean? People can sext with an AI bot who looks, sounds and interacts based on its real-life sex worker.
The clone’s “brain” is created from the SW’s smedia accounts, porn clips and interviews. It is representative of the essence of them so you feel like you’re communicating with your favorite star. They even speak. Even though the voice is taken from the live version, there is a stiltedness to the copy.
You can talk about many subject matters in addition to engage in sexual roleplay. But it all comes with a fee, of course. And like most things, there are morality factors; some from the sex workers themselves.
They don’t want their clones doing anything that goes against their personal values. But with AI, morality quickly becomes blurred. There are some platforms that offer more controls but, as cyber bots or cyber clones are downloaded, the iterations can be manipulated.
Still, the ability to speak with someone, not just a porn star, satisfies loneliness for some people.
AI is scary and alluring, and it seems like it’s here to stay. But is it better than speaking with someone real?
I’m real, and you can talk to me. I won’t roleplay with you but I’m happy to have a kinky discussion. I’m also a successful sex coach, if you need help getting your significant other interested in kink. Fees are determined based on duration and subject matter. DM me for more information.
Is BDSM Getting Younger?
Debby Herbenick’s article on Yahoo!life, “Choking, smothering, slapping: More teens are having rough sex. Here’s why.”, looks at the sex habits of young adults. As a sexuality researcher and college professor, Herbenick has unique insight and access to the younger generation.
She cites the biggest trend in their sexuality falls under the category of rough sex. From “50” to porn, teenagers are engaging in several aspects of rough sex: choking, smothering, spanking, and slapping. After watching hours of porn and reading various BDSM erotica, teens have the perception that rough sex is the norm.
I’ve often joked that virgins who watch porn have a skewed notion of what sex is about–they have got to be surprised when the real-life pizza delivery person refuses to come inside and strip. Under that humor, though, is a serious problem: Porn is not representative of real life.
Jitters, inexperience and awkwardness are enough factors to face when losing one’s virginity. The complexities of the BDSM dynamic should not be a part of that. Hence, Herbenick encourages parents to speak with their kids not just about the facts of life but of all things sex-related.
Choking is high on the list of sexual acts that most teens have tried. Studies from the 2000s revealed that only 5% of people engaged in choking or 
asphyxiation. Compare that with Herbenick’s 2020 study of about 5,000 college students, which showed nearly 80% of students had experienced rough sex, with choking being the top of the list.
A national 2021 study showed two-thirds of women, one-third of men and half of transgender and nonbinary people reported being choked during sex. Here’s the shocking part: 25% of participants said they were first choked between the ages of 12 and 17!
Many said they thought that’s what sex was. Others claimed they were afraid of being vanilla-shamed.
Regardless of why, I strongly suggest having an uncomfortable conversation with your kids. I’ve preached communication repeatedly as well as protocol and consent. It’s time to put them together: Talk to your kids about all kinds of sex, and explain the protocols, safety and hazards of rough sex. You might save their lives.
Think that’s never going to happen? Consider these statistics: In a study Herbenick conducted, 15% of those choked reported bruising and 3% reported a loss of consciousness, which could mean a brain injury. Plus, a hard enough slap to the head could cause injury.
Let’s return to protocol and remember that if someone is being choked, it’s very difficult to give consent.
Suck it up, push for a parent/kid night, and calmly talk about what may make your skin crawl. Because I guarantee you that you’d take a whole week of having the willies if it means your child doesn’t get hurt.
A Semantic Smile
Over the weekend, john7000sblog shared this post with me in Tumblfux, and it cracked me up. I was glad for the timing so I could share it with you and pass along a smile… ‘cause y’better get it! 😀
Thank you, John! And I hope you feel better soon.
Thank you to everyone for the warm and kinky New Year’s greetings! I look forward to another year together.
submissive2MissSM ~ Dear Miss BJ, you have so kind and supportive this year understanding some of us submissives were just born in the wrong body. Wishing you a Happy New Year with much happiness and further success in your writing. I look forward to reading more stories. [You’re welcome, and thank you, S2MSM. I look forward to reading more feedback *grin*]
Multiperv ~ I’m glad the doggos had such a good holiday season, and I hope you did, too. [I did, thanks!]
Kudos on trying to pick up a second language. I took 2 years of Spanish in high school but that was a long time ago at this point and, as the saying goes, “if you don’t use it you lose it” and I didn’t have much of it to begin with. [“Trying to pick up” is accurate if you’re using it verrrry loooosely *grin*]
I am a bit surprised so many people involved in kink have not heard of bdsmlr. I guess we can add ‘terrible marketing’ to their issues list. [Don’t get me started on that list, MP!]
My Berlin story before but maybe not and since you asked… Around 2010 I went to see a concert featuring Berlin. During the set, lead singer Terri Nunn climbed on the shoulders of one of the road crew or security people and they moved through the crowd as she sang. They walked right by me and I couldn’t resist touching her right bare foot. It was just a quick brush of my hand along her sole that she probably didn’t even notice. And that’s my, um, brush with greatness, as it were, at least with her. And I haven’t washed that hand since then, which you’ve probably noticed (just kidding). And no, sadly, I don’t remember which song they were doing when this magical moment manifested. [Wow! You answered the questions I was going to ask, but thanks for making me smile]
I like the term the Dominion, especially for a kink sci-fi book, just be aware that they were a major force in “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.” I wonder how many kinky nerds will let you know this haha. I may be one of the few who is old enough. [I’m not a Trekkie of any kind–not even sure if that’s how you spell it–and you’re the first person who’s mentioned it. Inside secret… come closer while I whisper… I needed a “D” word to go with the “s” one *smile*]
I’m of course interested in and looking forward to the sci-fi book and also how broadly they’re defining the ‘sex’ that one needs to live. Hopefully orgasms are enough and not necessarily intercourse because, lesbians. Yeah, lesbians, that’s the reason/ticket! [*cracking up!*]
toymax ~ I’ve read Your blog posting and I can only say: Vielen vielen Dank, Miss B.J. Ich habe Tränen in den Augen. [I figured out it meant: Many, many thanks, Miss B.J. I have tears in my eyes. Thank YOU, Max!]
I hope none of Your blog post readers think I’m making fun of Your pronunciation of my language, I would never do that – I know what my pronunciation of Your language sounds like. [I don’t think anyone would, Max]
Thank You for the Germany section, Mistress B.J. I’m honored. It’s my greatest pleasure to teach You a bit of my difficult and saliva-heavy language. I’m aware of my strong German accent when I speak in Your language. * blushing * [I LOVE your accent, and I’m so grateful to be able to communicate with you, Max!]Congratulations on a successful year 2023 filled with stars. It’s incredible to see what You’ve created and experienced. Your boys seem to enjoy their gifts – I like that. Thanks for bringing up the resolutions section: I planned and booked a couples getaway. [Thank you, Max; it was fun to reflect and fun to create. Yay on the getaway!]
To my shame, I have to admit that I’m pretty far behind in reading. Next I want to prepare for the book club meeting before I get to book 1 of the DomCon Trilogy. I can barely wait for it. [Holiday time is always chaotic; I know you will catch up… and don’t think I’ve forgotten about your birthday challenge!]
sizeerrorprojection ~ Thank you also for the Twitshitland shoutout for your new boots, Miss. I hope I get to see them! [Thank YOU… DomCon L.A.!]
As far as German goes, I think learning “On your knees, Boy” in German might come in really handy. I’d like to hear that! But also apologize for being so obviously greedy in my request. [haha… should I establish a new poll about what I should record in German next??]
A quick question for MultiPerv… what kind of baggage do you think a Dom[me] would claim? [You’re on fire, sep :p I can’t wait for MP’s answer!]
IamHerProperty ~ And a happy new year! I am so excited to learn that you are learning German, and I would love to hear you speak it! My Domme is American, too, and has learned German unbelievably well. [It’s slow-going but I’m learning. I hope you like my pronunciation!]
captain-encinoman ~ I just read through the blog; very interesting I’m still curious about your interview with Kendra, and Danny does he have a website or a page on Tumblr? And despite not knowing what you look like yet!, if you approached me with a collar and leash, I would let you put it on me! [You’re very sweet, CE! Yes, Danny’s website was linked in his interview, and I also have it listed under my KinkyLinks]
submissiveforDomme ~ You definitely need to put up an audio file of you speaking German!!!! I took it in high school but never really learned to speak it because I didn’t practice it. I was too shy and embarrassed. [I will assume your unspoken “please” is in this request :p]
Was the Dom baggage claim short for domestic? As opposed to international [You got it!]
I wish I had made the plans to be [at DomCon NOLA]. I’d definitely have let you put a collar on me and lead me around. [DomCon L.A. in May!]
This [the sci-fi erotic soap opera] sounds amazing and something right up my alley. [I’m glad you approve… rubbug is helping with the covers, so all I have to do now is write it :D]
rubbug ~ I’m glad you had such a positive year, and got the new year started well with those 5-star reviews. Eli is an incredible series and I’m glad more people are realizing it, definitely belongs on top ten lists. [Thank you, rb!]
I hope this year is another great one for you, Mistress BJ [Back acha :)]
L.K. Lynch ~ Sprechen Sie Deutsch? [You’re so funny, LK :p]
I honestly did not expect so many votes to hear me speak German; however, as promised, I made a recording and had it approved by Toymax. Whaddya think?
Tell me what you think of this post, and you’ll see your comment in the next one!
Online Book Club
The next Online Book Club will be on Saturday, January 20, 2024 at 4:00 p.m., Eastern. You have chosen “A Domme for Christmas” as the next book!
DM me to be included in the next Book Club:
bdsmlr ~ Not Safe for Work
Tumblr ~ Questionably Safe for Work
Twitter ~ Safe for Work
TwitterNSFW ~ Not Safe for Work
FetLife ~ Safe for Work
Right Here ~ Safe for Work
BDSM Checklists
Check out my FREE BDSM Checklists.
I created two BDSM Checklists to assist with communication and negotiation. One is grouped by fetishes and the other is an alphabetical listing, and both have spaces for you to fill in additional ones.
Make sure you check out the Checklists! Then, let me know what you think and how you used them.
And feel free to buy me a drink!
Question: I know it’s a rather small pool but do you have a favorite Femdom or kinky D/s relationship or depiction in mainstream film or TV? Though most of the movie is not great, I would say the one between Mistress Lisa and Elliot in “Exit to Eden” (1994).
More recently, I also overall liked how they handled things in “Love & Leashes,” which can be seen on Netflix.
What about you (and your readers)?
B.J.’s Response: Thanks for the question and response. I watched “Exit to Eden” in my pre-kinky days, and I admit to being turned on when she spanked his bare butt. I’m not a huge fan of L&L. I enjoyed the two seasons of “Bonding” but thought, from a protocol standpoint, Season 2 should’ve come first.
I also loved the food scene from “9-1/2 Weeks”
And I recently watched the entire “Hung” HBO series, which is kinky from a different perspective and takes place in Detroit!
Sean’s Response: I’m going to go with Lilith from “Cheers.” She totally doms Frasier. It may be more nemesis than dom, but she totally owns him at every turn.
I loved Dana Delaney in that movie, and, to be honest, I think she’s played a domme, to a certain extent, in everything she’s done since. “Body of Proof” is a good example.
Thanks, Sean, for taking the time on your cruise to answer a kinky question.
What about you? Tell me about a kinky scene that stands out!
Do you have a kinky question you’d like answered? Use the contact form to submit your question. All questions will be kept anonymous unless you’d prefer to be named.
Thanks for the great questions and comments!
For other kinky advice, check my blog archives.
Happy reading,
~B.J.
