Happy New Year!
I hope you had a merry holiday season, and I wish you a kinky 2024!
2023 brought new readers, experiences and friends. I don’t usually do a “year in review” but there were too many in 2023 not to highlight… despite the cringing fear that I will forget some. Here is a bulleted list not in any order:
★ I published my 50th book
★ I won an award at DomCon NOLA
★ Jessie Spectre and I completed the “Eli” series to high acclaim
★ Creating the Online Book Club
★ Attending the Escape Weekend with Goddess Phoenix
★ Interviewing BDSM legends
★ Meeting fans and friends at DomCon
★ Mixing reality and fiction in the DomCon Trilogy
★ Reaching 300 Goodreads reviews
★ Talking to people around the world
I look forward to even more stars in 2024… and that includes you. Send me a DM, sign up for the Book Club, attend DomCon, buy me a drink or send me a gift but, more importantly, read a book and tell me about it!
Thank you for the wonderful gifts last month. The new forum made it easier for both of us to get notified, and some of you even got instant recognition in Twitshitland. While all of the gifts made me smile, some of them continue to bring happiness. My boys, Ledger and Orbit, were especially excited to receive their toys:
Fun fact: Ledger appears in the “Mistress Managed” series as Jake, Jeneca’s rescue dog.
Resolutions?
Do you make them? Do you keep them? I came across an interesting article about couples’ resolutions. It’s never too late to incorporate some ideas, especially when it reinforces my mantra about *communication*.
A list of twelve things to focus on with your significant other, it’s a quick read with some cute videos. Of particular note are numbers three and four: “We will work up a sweat together” and “We will make sex a priority.”
You may have thought about doing this or you may have even said out loud to each other that you should really have more sex. Take the next step and *commit* to it. Seriously. You budget your time and money. You may plan your meals, workouts and TV watching. Add sex to those lists.
Read the article, communicate with your partner and tell me about it… the planning and commitment, that is; not the actual doing. *grin*
Germany
I get to talk to people around the world I wouldn’t otherwise “meet”. A staple in smedia and blog posts is toymax. Aside from reading and discussing my books, Max creates beautiful and creative book posts, helps with IT issues, and has become a close friend. I always tell him how amazing his English is, and that we’d never be able to communicate if he didn’t speak English.
Not having a mandatory second and/or third language is detrimental, I fear. And I’m ashamed to admit that, after years of talking with Max, it’s only recently that I even considered learning a few German phrases.
Ein gesundes neues Jahr ~ A healthy new year
Wie geht es dir? ~ How are you?
One of my new (but painfully slow) endeavors has been tackling the German language. Max has great fun laughing at my mispronunciations–I do, too, actually. And I’m trying to generate more saliva. 😀
A helpful tool in pronouncing things correctly is to ask the placement of Max’s tongue when he says things. There’s a lot of hesitation in my speech in order for my brain to tell my tongue how to manually move for better pronunciation <–and sorry, there’s no way I can NOT make that sound dirty :p
If someone asks me to say something in German, I told Max that I’d say, “Ich hatte einen schlechten Tag,” because I think it sounds HIGHLY German… with all the spitting sounds. Max doesn’t like it, however, because he fears people will assume all Germans have bad days. *GRIN*
Perhaps if there’s enough interest from y’all, I’ll put up an audio of me “speaking German”.
Speaking of Max… his birthday was last month. Since I didn’t specify what the marks signified on his birthday posts, [Link is to a NSFW site but the post is SFW], I used the counter from Twitshitland, which registered 4,800 views by the end of his birthday weekend. I challenged Max to be creative in the kitchen with some kind of 48 number. Because you’ve heard me say repeatedly that the kitchen is the kinkiest room in the house!
Max has accepted the mission and will report back with photographic evidence sometime later this month.
Eli Makes the Top Ten!
Sally Bend created a Top Ten list of books she loved reading in 2023, and the “Eli” series was on that list!
Jessie and I are geeked to be mentioned.
It’s time to get on the bandwagon and learn for yourself just how great this series is. For months, you’ve read about the reviews and praise it’s gotten. About how it’s a gay series but is still hot for straight people. About how there’s much more to the series… aaannnddd that reading a smokin’ hot gay series will *NOT* make you gay!
So take that final step and begin the series NOW.
LeftField ~ I have a question on your Trilogy book cover. Do you have to get permission to use the DomCon logo? It’s a registered trademark so I don’t know if you have to or not. I do like the cover. [*sigh* That question means you haven’t been following closely, LF. But I appreciate you looking out for me. A copyrighted logo is definitely not acceptable to use without permission… and yes, I absolutely have Mistress Cyan’s permission.]
I see Kendra James had the same response as Mistress did when I mentioned bdsmlr to her – “What’s that.” [Interestingly, Multiperv just told me last week that Clips4Sale is now advertising on bdsmlr. I can’t help but feel I was involved in this transaction, and bdsmlr owes me a commission. I should send them my wish list!]
Mistress Mia ~ I absolutely love these book covers. [I’m so glad! …I sent her a preview of all three This is Knot DomCon covers]
KleinschwanzCucky ~ That’s nice! 😀 Oh, yes. I liked the chat with the bot the most. Thanks for making submissives aware, Miss! I’ve had these encounters, before, especially on Twitter (X), that’s one of the many reasons I left there. This platform surely’s got its problems, too. But it’s way better than X. I wish you a nice weekend! [toymax did a great job with that bot conversation, and there are tons of bots in Twitshitland. I’m glad you moved to bdsmlr and started to DM me, KC! :)]
Multiperv ~ I agree. How IS it December already?! [Yikes, swap “January” for “December”!]
The “Keep on Loving You” cover is pretty good but I’m not sure I like it enough for repeat listenings. Interestingly enough, Dolly Parton put out a collection of rock song covers (plus a couple of new songs) last month, and it’s actually pretty good. Her vocalizations add some different feelings to the verses on some songs. And she also did a cover of the same REO song along with REO lead singer Kevin Cronin. [Interesting! I’ll have to give it a listen]
I’ve been hit by some bots recently, too, or determined findoms who don’t listen. It gets annoying when you politely say you appreciate the interest but that you’re taken and they steamroll ahead with their script anyway. But then that’s a tipoff as well. A couple of them backed off or wished me well. So maybe there are some real ones. Not real Mistresses interested in a relationship without money, just more genuine findoms looking to be an online Mistress for money. [True, but it still needs to be mentioned so people realize the transactional relationship they’re getting into]
Muchas congratos, as we don’t say in Texas, on a perfect score of reviews from Sally on Eli! [Thank you!]
Rubbug earned 87 birthday smacks and said he did 20 on each butt cheek so my question is just how many butt cheeks does that boy have? I’m guessing 4?! [haha, I don’t remember the exact wording but I know he started with some and then continued. Rest assured rubbug went well beyond his earned 87]
Yep, that inability to contact the warehouse and cancel an order thing is extremely stupid and wasteful. I don’t have a recent story yet but I’m sure the next few weeks will provide one. Or maybe bdsmlr is making up in stupid for a lot of companies. [I’m still interested if you have a story… any of you, since we’re past the holiday mailing season]
I’ve never been particularly intrigued by primal play but the way SEP described his incident with the bondage session made it sound appealing and fun to imagine. I may have to look into that more or at least think about it. [You both did an excellent job recapping the classes you attended at DomCon NOLA]
Danny [Leather by Danny] certainly hides that shyness well when he’s in his booth. But then I can relate as I also tend to do better, at least outwardly, when I’m teaching a class or in an environment where I feel like I’m on ‘home turf’ and more comfortable than the people I’m interacting with, who are visitors, customers, or newbies to that space or event. And then I try to help make them feel more comfortable. [You both share that great trait]
I look forward to seeing one or more pictures of you, Danny, and Porsche Lynn in the Distinguished Alumni listing for MSU. Maybe in the special kink edition. [HAHAHA]
The Berlin song is just “Animal”. I’ll have to tell Danny I too had an interaction with the lead singer from Berlin though his was probably longer and maybe more fun [Danny didn’t interact with them; he only saw his products in the video… do tell!]
I enjoyed the Kendra James post. And while I remember it now, I’d forgotten that part about her literally joining the circus. I wish I’d talked to her again or more but I’m glad I got to have any interaction at all, and got to see her class. [You remember from my telling you right after the interview or you knew it on your own?]
I remember Mistress Mia laughing when I described sep and I as ‘booth babes’ so that probably helped it stick in my head a little more. Always happy to entertain the ladies. [You do so much, MP :p]
It took me a few seconds and staring at the sign picture to figure just what the heck ‘Dom Baggage Claim’ really meant! [HAHA]
rubbug ~ It was cringe to see what I wrote to you after the birthday thing [Make a note not to write while still in sub space *grin*]
Both Danny and Kendra’s interviews were fascinating. I felt a bit of kinship with Danny ‘cause it seems we have a similar personality, and I admire that he’s humble about having his work featured everywhere without credit. [Agree!]
As for Kendra, I think her videos are a big part of what got me interested in femdom in the first place, so it’s cool to know that she is a really cool person, too. I think it’s good that you got to interview her without being a fan ‘cause I think a fan wouldn’t be able to handle it. I know I wouldn’t. [Thank you for that; it makes me feel better]
I’m glad you had an enjoyable time, got taken care of, and got a literal award while you were there. It’s much deserved, and I feel like everyone who gets to interact with you is better for it. [AWWW, many thanks, rb!]
submissiveforDomme ~ Hi. I just read some of your post from last Thursday. I always love reading them. [I love your comments]
Awww, you added me to the list of people who helped with the cover design [This is Knot DomCon – Book One]. ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ I didn’t think I did anything that at all helped you get to the decision you ended up making. But I’m super grateful you threw me in there. I wasn’t expecting anything like that. [Each input helps with the final product!]
captain-encinoman ~ You got to meet Kendra James and interview her 🙂 Have you ever put a collar on a guy and led him around by a leash? [I have not… yet. I did bring a collar and leash to one of them but had no takers]
@FemdomLove10 ~ Kendra seems like a very nice person. I know her name, but not that familiar with her. I found her Twitter page and followed so I can see what she’s up to. The thing I like about Kendra is she is not some 20-something trying to be a Dom. [Agreed!]
Tell me what you think of this post, and you’ll see your comment in the next one!
This is Knot DomCon Gets Five Stars!
The first book of the DomCon trilogy has received THREE five-star reviews already; the latest from Sally Bend.
Reality meets fiction as characters from B.J. Frazier books attend DomCon L.A. While the setting is real, the events of this thrilling new trilogy are most certainly not.
Book One introduces the cast of characters, including old friends from B.J. Frazier’s other stories, along with a few folks from the real world.
Jump into this phenomenal trilogy today because Book Two will be released later this month!
Here’s a preview of the cover. Tell me what you think!
This is Knot DomCon – Book Two. It will be available to pre-order soon! Until then, here is a sneak peek at the cover.
After the DomCon trilogy is complete, I will begin the erotic, femdom/sci-fi soap opera “The Dominion and the Sugilite”. It will take place on a different planet several hundred years in the future where women rule, men labor, stones and jewelry are central, and sex is required to live.
Online Book Club
The next Online Book Club will be on Saturday, January 20, 2024 at 4:00 p.m., Eastern. You have chosen “A Domme for Christmas” as the next book!
DM me to be included in the next Book Club:
bdsmlr ~ Not Safe for Work
Tumblr ~ Questionably Safe for Work
Twitter ~ Safe for Work
TwitterNSFW ~ Not Safe for Work
FetLife ~ Safe for Work
Right Here ~ Safe for Work
BDSM Checklists
Check out my FREE BDSM Checklists.
I created two BDSM Checklists to assist with communication and negotiation. One is grouped by fetishes and the other is an alphabetical listing, and both have spaces for you to fill in additional ones.
Make sure you check out the Checklists! Then, let me know what you think and how you used them.
And feel free to buy me a drink!
Do you have a kinky question you’d like answered? Use the contact form to submit your question. All questions will be kept anonymous unless you’d prefer to be named.
Thanks for the great questions and comments!
For other kinky advice, check my blog archives.
Happy reading,
~B.J.
