I traveled to the recording studio last week to record “Mistress Managed – Book One” with Thomas Antonson. He is a seasoned sound guy. For those of you who have listened to my audiobooks, he’s the professional voice that introduces the production. He also voices several male characters in “The Come Bet”.
Thomas has been telling me for years that I should voice the entire “Mistress Managed” series by myself. However, I feel it is too precious of a story for me to do alone. There’s important banter that would be lost if I didn’t have someone to snap with in the studio.
Plus, I think actually hearing conversations instead of listening to one voice is much more enjoyable to listen to.
Obviously, I won! 🙂
I had hoped that we could do at least the first book but, after the first session, I felt confident we could get halfway into Book Two. However, Thomas ended the session early on the first day, saying he could hear our voices getting tired. I was kinda disappointed because I wanted to do more. I actually felt like we’d just gotten started, and I was ready to go for at least three more hours.
After I got back, though, I have to admit to dropping hard. And I am glad he called it. I didn’t tell him that… but Thomas, you ARE the professional, and I am but an over-eager, impatient amateur. I’m very grateful to your wisdom, even if I give you shit about it. *grin*
On the third day, we had to do pick-ups and redos. And then Thomas was going to end it, having completed the first book. But I kept saying, but Book Two has tons more banter and is going to be so much more fun! And I bounced up and down and smiled and pleaded, so he gave in.
And UGH, I HATE to admit that I had to take extra breaks to drink water or cough, and Thomas kept telling me that I’m losing it. Refusing to acknowledge it, I pressed him through two chapters… when my voice stopped me. It was on fire, and I couldn’t get it back to normal.
Have I ever said how much I *hate* being wrong?! *big sigh*
THE GOOD NEWS is that we completed Book One! But now Thomas has the arduous task of editing. He also came up with a great idea to interview me on the writing process, the story and how my writing has changed over the years. We’ll do that when we finish the series, and then he’ll add it to the audiobook as bonus material!
More good news is that I will be back in the recording studio in December and January to finish the series. So look for “Mistress Managed” as audiobooks soon! Or read it today!
Online Book Club
We’re skipping the holiday season entirely and regrouping next year, on Saturday, January 20, 2024 at 4:00 p.m., Eastern. The new poll is up, so please head over there to vote for the next book!
DM me to be included in the next Book Club:
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Twitter ~ Safe for Work
TwitterNSFW ~ Not Safe for Work
FetLife ~ Safe for Work
Right Here ~ Safe for Work
Eli Receives Another Five Stars!
The “Eli” series has been a big hit with readers… even those who do not identify as gay. You’ve heard me say repeatedly that you don’t need to be gay to appreciate the series overall, and especially the sex scenes.
When Sally Bend agreed to start the series earlier this year, Jessie and I were nervous about her take on it. I happily shared with you her five-star reviews on the first three books… and I’m equally thrilled to share her most recent five-star review on Book Four.
With the final book to go, though, Jessie and I–never fully *NOT* nervous–are especially nervous about Sally’s opinion of the series finale.
I’ve gotten Sally to share her thoughts with the other books outside of the review, and I’ve shared it with newsletter subscribers [if you want perks and the inside scoop; sign up for my newsletter at the bottom of this page]. However, as the series continues, it becomes more difficult to discuss plot points and character development without spoilers.
So, you can read Sally’s review but you should unequivocally read the series… then tell us what you think, because Jessie and I LOVE feedback! 😀
Trilogy Update
Traveling, recording and writing this blog post have left me little time for the Trilogy. This next week will be devoted to reading and editing Books One and Two. I will also be taking notes of threads I may have missed so I can make sure Book Three puts everything together.
Enjoying lunch with Thomas last week, I told him that, short of Multiperv’s sound title of Dom-Dom-Dom-Dom Connnnnn, I don’t have a good title.
And as good as he is at putting my words together, he said, “I’ve got it!” The trilogy has been named: “This is Knot DomCon”
For the over-achievers who wish to familiarize themselves with the characters in the trilogy, the books included are (in alphabetical order):
14-Day Lockdown with Goddess Serena
A Domme for Christmas
Best Served Cold
Eli (five-book series)
He Wanted It
Her Wish. His Command.
I Blame Quentin Tarantino
It Wasn’t What I Wanted
Mistress Managed (three-book series)
The Perchance to Dream series, including Lorenzo’s Story 1 and 2 (nine-book series)
The Service Sub
This week, our very own rubbug had a birthday, and I made a post for him in bdsmlr. It is Not Safe For Work but, if you still wanna look, then please go to the post and like, reblog and/or make a comment. Becuzzzz for every mark that post has at the end of the weekend, rubbug will have to self-spank.
And if that’s not incentive enough, let me tell you about the worst joke of the year… I talked to rubbug periodically on his birthday. Each time, I’d say “happy birthday”! The last time was right before bed, and I said it again. Rubbug said, no, it’s not. So I’d argued that since he hadn’t gone to bed yet, it was still his birthday. But he came back with: “It’s no longer day, so shouldn’t it be ‘happy birth night’?”
Feel free to groan, and then take it out on rubbug by going to the above post and adding a comment… or seven! 😀
And now, onto our regularly-scheduled Community Kink Chat. There are some comments from both of the previous DomCon review posts:
SlaveMike777 ~ Congratulations, Mistress, on winning such a prestigious award. You should be very proud of your accomplishments!! [Thank you!]
L.K. Lynch ~ Great start on the first two NOLA blogs – good luck in AZ recording the MM series. I did see the award – sorry that the original presentation went sideways with the medical issue (hope that’s sorted out), but they went out of their way to make sure you got your props. [Thank you! It is; you need to read the second blog post :)]
otkfme3 ~ Congratulations!!!!!! You deserve it!! [Thank you!]
Nerts2u ~ Holy freaking cow! I want to be on the receiving end of those shock gloves sooo, so very bad! Those look very, very fun, and the convention looks like it was a lot of fun–very fun. Thanks for the Psychology Today pain as pleasure article as well. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who sees those gloves and says, “I want, I want, I want.” [Happy to *stimulate* you, N2u :)]
submissiveforDomme ~ So when people attend DomCon does pretty much everyone dress the part? Like what does one wear? I expect there to be a lot of cosplay and outfits, but is it more like street clothes and some people dress up, or what? [It’s dress as you’re most comfortable. Some people are in street clothes. Others are dressed in fetish wear. Many people wear collars and leashes. And everyone is accepted. The only rule is that you have to be proper while you’re in the main hotel areas. Go to DomCon LA in May and see for yourself!]
StraponLover ~ Looks like you had a fabulous Domcon and have made so many good friends!! Your Booth Babe comments were great; he sounds like a great and handy guy. And the award you received. I so hope that I get to attend one of the Domcons one day
You have really established yourself in that community. So happy for you! [Thank you! Multiperv is a huge help in the booth… read his interview below. Also, I’m trying to bridge that community with our little community here :)]TheSensualSapiosexual ~ Congratulations on your award at DomCon! [Thank you!]
rubbug ~ The Kink Shop section was interesting with the electric play. I didn’t know that was really a thing until recently but it sounds very kinky. That glove looked cool, though, reminds me of Catwoman. [Yes, it seems to be a favorite amongst readers… meow!]
SEP’s section was cool to read, too. I’m glad he took care of himself when he wasn’t feeling well and that you supported him. It sounds like he really enjoyed the experience, and I found myself smiling just reading it. [Happy to report he’s doing well now, too!]
Liz River ~ Thank you so much, BJ! It was my pleasure to be interviewed.
toymax ~ A big shoutout of well wishes and warm *hugs* to Max this week, who is suffering from COVID. Please wish him a speedy recovery!
Tell me what you think of this post, and you’ll see your comment in the next one!
BDSM Checklists
Check out my FREE BDSM Checklists.
I created two BDSM Checklists to assist with communication and negotiation. One is grouped by fetishes and the other is an alphabetical listing, and both have spaces for you to fill in additional ones.
Make sure you check out the Checklists! Then, let me know what you think and how you used them.
And feel free to buy me a drink!
DomCon NOLA 2023 ~ The Third Review
If you missed the last review, here’s your link. If you missed the first review, here’s that link.
Interview ~ Multiperv
I’ve talked about Multiperv (MP) in many blog posts. He is the one responsible for getting me to my first kink convention–GWNN Bash 2022. MP also has taught several classes within the kink community. I attended one and wrote about it last year in the DomCon Nola 2022 review.
It’s time to take a closer look at Multiperv. His username is exactly what it sounds like: He is a proud pervert in multiple ways, with several kinks. Plus, he’s a switch, so he’s interested in both sides of many kinks.
When did he first realize he was kinky? “Well, I don’t know if I knew I was kinky.” Keep in mind that MP grew up before the internet, and he thought “there were only about 100 people in the U.S. into BDSM, and they were male because women would only want to submit for money.”
A key step in MP’s kink came when he visited his older brother and looked at some of his Penthouse magazines. It was within their famous letters section that MP discovered that couples engaged in kink as well. Also, a trip to K mart’s book section led MP to the Gor series of novels, a set of swords and sandals books that contained a lot of BDSM.
In high school, there was a girl who lived in the same townhouse area. Hearing the gate click would set off a Pavlovian reaction that maybe she was heading to the pool with her girlfriends, and MP would look out his window to see if they were barefoot. So he realized he was different from the average bear.
He also remembers watching 1001 Arabian Nights as a kid and thinking it was hot that slave girls came in and danced. He also saw scenes where somebody was tied to a mast of a ship and was whipped, and that did something. Interestingly, MP identified more as being a slave girl, because the men did the rowing and got whipped, which didn’t look like a lot of fun. He didn’t dream about dressing up and being a girl or of men having him; he was attracted to being a sex object, who was able to move gracefully and rhythmically.
MP revealed that he didn’t try crossdressing until 40 years-ish later. He describes the feeling, especially when shaving his legs, as: “I was uncovering this thing inside my body I didn’t know was there, even though I lived in that body for 40 years. It was cool, and it was kind of nice knowing that, at 40 . . . there’s things still to discover about yourself.”
He never did it frequently but it opened himself up to feeling more masculine and sexy but in a whole different way.
When did MP lose his virginity? At 21 because he was a shy, little pervert. A self-proclaimed band nerd with a big nose, his confidence was not high. It was his junior or senior year in college, and the deflowering was vanilla. However, they explored some kink, switching and some foot stuff.
Sadly, eleven months into the relationship, she mentioned that she had started dating a co-worker. Multiperv didn’t know anything about polyamory or ENM (ethical non-monogramy) or cuckolding at the time, and he was crushed. He was a mess for six months until he decided to chase after her or snap out of it. After chasing her with romance, he realized it wasn’t going to be.
How did Multiperv get into the kink scene/BDSM community? There was a weekly publication in Austin geared toward local events with a personal section. There was a mistress who advertised there, offering sessions. MP scheduled one at a cheap hotel. He was 25 and nervous that he’d get jumped and/or blackmailed. It wasn’t his most successful session but he had fun.
Then in 1993, the internet popped up, and MP learned about the kink scene in LA. The big club at the time was called Threshold and hosted weekend events, play parties, and classes. Also they’d have a convention every year. He started going to that and officially entered the kink scene.
Around ‘94/’95, MP met “the person who would become my ex-wife.” She was kinky and happy to talk about it. MP was nervous about revealing his kinks but she was open-minded and accepting. After they got married, they dropped out of the public scene, preferring to play privately… yet they lived apart due to work.
It was at a holiday party and talking with someone when MP learned his wife liked being dominant more than submissive. It was a surprise for MP, and it also told him they had communication issues. She moved to D.C. for work, and MP moved with her, and it was the first time they lived together full time. They divorced shortly after.
MP got into the kink scene in D.C. at the Black Rose convention. There was a charity auction where the prize was a session with Princess Kali. MP was already familiar with her work. He was completely enchanted by a speech she’d given on humiliation play. So, he got into a bidding war. They stopped the bidding at $425. Since it went so high and it was for charity, Princess Kali agreed to do two sessions, and they each paid $425.
Princess Kali is an exhibitionist and his scene was public humiliation play. MP remembers it well. “When I went home after that scene, I felt like I’d had two orgasms, I was so happy and relaxed, but I had none.”
Multiperv also worked as a service sub for two pro dommes who shared a house. When he got there and when he left, he was made to kiss her feet. He would go there once a week and perform chores, usually in costume. He’d put on a collar first and sometimes feminine wear or latex. They didn’t have a dishwasher, so there was usually a stack of dishes waiting. He’d do other household chores, run errands, grocery shop, and/or wash her truck.
After two to three months of service, his “main” domme rewarded him with a session. The premise was that he was her cyberslave but she let him date other women. So she helped him get ready for his upcoming date. She spanked/flogged him so when he sat down at the restaurant, he’d squirm. She also did a bad job of painting his nails, wrote slurs on him and basically pre-ruined the date. At the end, she said, “I hope you have a good time but I also know that it’s not gonna last because she doesn’t know how to treat you the way I do.”
Other perks were to bathe her feet in water and oil and then drink it. He also had a birthday session where she stood on him barefoot, trampled, and did some ballerina poses. There was a sheet cake that she dipped her feet into and then fed it to him. His new girlfriend also fed him cake with her feet for his birthday this year.
What are people’s misperceptions about MP that he dislikes? “Most people think that I’m standoffish. People think I don’t like them.” He says it’s a misperception because he’s not snobby or aloof, he’s just really shy. Even his current girlfriend thought that. She attended his humiliation class and figured it out.
Does MP’s family know he’s kinky? Around 2005, he went through a phase where “I felt that I had to let some people know about my kinky self.” He “came out” to his brother and a college friend. “I don’t think it cost me anything but I kinda wish I didn’t do it because I’m not sure I gained anything.” MP is quick to add that he doesn’t advocate people hide their kink but to consider there may not be a point to divulge it.
MP was first introduced to polyamory by an ex-girlfriend Liz. He saw her profile at a kink event. While he was attracted to her kinks and looks, she also listed TV shows she enjoyed, which coincided with MP’s. “Lesson there, kids, is don’t just put kink stuff in your profile . . . because that makes you stand out and attract others.”
When he first was with her, she had five partners, and he was on the bottom rung. Over time, he became her primary partner, and he was monogamous. MP identifies as monogamous and can be within a poly relationship.
MP’s favorite tip for new dommes is: “The blindfold is your friend.”
MP’s advice for first-time kink convention goers? Try to rest up beforehand. He offers basic kink rules: Don’t touch anyone without permission; don’t touch their toys or property without permission. It’s okay to ask people about their scenes and compliment them but wait until they’re done.
Also, be conscious about event drop. It’s great to immerse yourself in this kinky world and being your kinky self without worrying about family and co-workers but getting back to the real world can be a little jarring. “Take care of yourself, hydrate, and know that more kink is on the horizon… just not that same week.”
Even if you’re a shy, little band nerd, if you can put yourself out there a little bit, kinky things can happen to you.
Multiperv ~ Thanks for the revealing insight into the things that turn you on and your path through kink. As always, your advice is well-taken. And I’m proud to have you as my friend. LA is next, though you can convince me about GWNN again 🙂
Bonus Morsel
I ask people to whom they’d like me to sign books. Sometimes I mess up and ask “how”. Roux B and Chef had an adorable response. I signed “Mistress Managed” per their recipe: “To making memories and delicious choices”
Classes
Cuckolding and Male Chastity: Reality vs. Fiction ~ by Multiperv
This class was taught by Nerys Michelle and her husband, whom she has been with for nearly 40 years.
They stressed that the main key to good kink relationships is open communication. They discussed an interesting communication technique they had either in a class or while in counseling. It’s called “Raw Thought”.
Basically, one partner declares that you have a raw thought. Your partner is then to work with you to find a dedicated time period when he can completely focus on what you want to say, without the distraction of the smartphone, television, family, etc. The goal is to LISTEN to the raw thought and give your partner 100% focus and attention.
They added that you may not always be able to respond right away, because you may not like an idea or concept. However, it’s important to take the time to calm down, process it, and wait until you can come back with a non-hurtful way to respond. Clearly, this lesson can apply from anything to buying a sailboat to trying anal fisting.
Unfortunately due to cross-scheduling, I was not able to stay until they got into specifics on how chastity play and cuckolding can go together. But it is a popular combination, so you can probably find some good resources and/or fun fiction about them with little effort.
Thanks, Multiperv!
Living in a Committed FLR ~ by Multiperv
This was also taught by Nerys and her husband. The pair often spoke over each other and didn’t necessarily follow what the other was saying.
The main thing that stuck with me is that he said if there is a game on that he wants to watch at 7, and she wants to do something else, guess what he’s doing? And yes, that is a D/s relationship, and an FLR one, but I wonder if there is any allowance for his desires if she DOESN’T have something she really wants to do. I imagine so because Nerys didn’t come across as unreasonable but they didn’t address it, and I didn’t get to ask.
I personally wouldn’t want to live in a relationship where my desires are always overruled. I sometimes wonder if it means I’m too much of a switch, or a ‘bad sub’, or just seek a particular type of D/s relationship. I understand the idea that, in an FLR, her desires have priority but of course there has to be SOME degree of balance of satisfaction for the sub or it’s probably not going to go well or last long, unless the sub is a REAL masochist or completely smitten.
Maybe the question becomes where or how do you draw the lines to make things mutually satisfying while retaining the D/s relationship and not a more traditional equal partnership?
Good question, Multiperv! I think it goes back to their previous class, where communication takes precedence. Also, I’m a firm believer that the best kink relationships are ones where the parties have discussed and worked out the details to be the best for them. Basically, as long as everyone’s needs are met and you’re happy, that is an ideal kink relationship.
Dynamics of a BDSM Scene – Mistress Cyan ~ by sizeerrorprojection
I had to go to this class. B.J. told me I shouldn’t miss this one and she, MP, and I attended. Mistress Cyan started this conference 20 years ago and still presented a class on impact play goals and techniques. She brought her submissive Pudding to assist in the demonstration to the class.
You could see Pudding preparing herself from the time she sat down. Mistress Cyan discussed the goal of impact play was to bring the levels of pleasure and pain to equilibrium for the submissive. The heavier the play, the slower the warmup.
I noticed at the start of the demonstration, Pudding had her hands high on the St. Andrew’s Cross but quickly lowered them to shoulder height, possibly to help her feel less vulnerable in front of the class.
Mistress Cyan discussed the elevation of techniques starting with light play with a flogger and how to move your wrist in a figure 8–over, under, over, under–working from each side of her submissive, starting with glancing brushes which familiarize the sub’s body with the implement. She then moved directly behind and continued brushing before slowly working in heavier thuds.
She’d then pause and move in close and run her hands over Pudding’s body. After creating waves of escalation, Mistress Cyan then backed off slightly, only to begin again with slightly increased intensity, building her sub up slowly so she could handle greater and greater impact. Mistress draped the flogger over Pudding’s face, letting her smell it. Bringing her more in touch with her Mistress and the source of pain.
Then, a switch to a paddle. Mistress Cyan demonstrated how to bruise deeply with the paddle by striking through and not removing it from her sub’s flesh. Then how to create a sting by quickly pulling the paddle back on impact, stinging without marking. More strokes, this time with the paddle.
Then onto the cane. Mistress Cyan discussed the diameter of the cane, more surface area means less intense pain as it is spread out over a larger area. She ended the play with a VERY large, double-edged knife, which she used to stroke Pudding. Softly brushing her submissive’s skin to make her quiver. Mistress Cyan was masterful, fluid and smooth in all her movements. Teaching a class she had obviously taught many times before.
I was excited to see the unabbreviated version that night at a play part with another submissive. It was beautiful and incredibly intense.
Thanks, SEP! I know we didn’t want to leave the “Touch Kink” movie, but Mistress Cyan’s class took precedence.
Dynamics of a BDSM Scene – Mistress Cyan
I first experienced Mistress Cyan’s class last year at DomCon NOLA 2022. If you missed that blog post, you can find it here.
This year, I decided to go again, mainly to take MP and SEP, but I knew that, with the expertise that Mistress Cyan has, I’d learn something new. I was not disappointed.
Mistress Cyan talked about the importance of warming up or creating a build up in a scene. If you just start at a level ten, she pointed out, where can you go from there? To put it another way, Mistress Cyan likened it to a shower. You keep turning the temperature up in order to get used to it. You are preparing your body and mind for what is to come; akin to a BDSM scene.
She put it another way. She said we were on the second floor. In order to get to your room, you can’t just take *one* stair; you need to take it one step at a time.
Also, the more you warm up, the harder you can play.
To add to SEP’s figure eight explanation, Mistress Cyan taught that once you get the muscle movements down with both hands, you can use a flogger in each hand at the same time. She advised practicing against a wall, striking each implement overhanded at the same time, then gradually moving to crossing them over.
Practicing the figure eight method is on my list of things to achieve. I aspire to be able to double-flog in a reasonable time frame that doesn’t put too much pressure on myself and instills the excitement of practicing. *grin*
Another add to SEP’s caning recitation is that you can utilize the same force to intensify a hit. To effectuate it, you strike quickly. As the body is reverberating from one strike, your second strike hits, never allowing the body to adjust or take a breather. The result is that the strike feels harder even though you’re using the same force.
There were a couple of important safety tips that Mistress Cyan bestowed. When playing with a knife, it’s imperative to keep the blade either behind you or behind your head so that no accidents happen. Obviously, this is when you’re not touching the blade to the sub’s skin.
At the end of a scene and your sub has been on a St. Andrew’s Cross, Mistress Cyan always places a leg between the sub’s legs before she removes the restraints. There’s a good chance that your sub will fall backwards or collapse after a particularly strenuous or intense session. If your leg is there, you will be supporting the sub and preventing injury.
Interview ~ Porsche Lynn
A tall, strawberry-blonde woman in fetish gear, eight-inch heels, a hat, and braids burst into the vending area with an electric aura and a mini entourage, and I knew I had to talk to her.
She approached my booth, and I asked my customary “Do you like to read erotica?” opening line. She said she doesn’t have much time anymore, so I mentioned I also had audiobooks. Immediately, she pondered aloud about piping in my audiobooks into her themed dungeon rooms while sessions involving those play types were live.
We chatted for a bit at the booth, where I learned she was born in Michigan and has a nursing degree from Michigan State University! Go Green!
I had to know what character of mine she matched with, and she sat on the stage while she took my quiz.
I admit to being celebrity stupid, and I didn’t even have the time to read the DomCon program to know who she was or that she was a guest of honor. Thank goodness for my booth boys, Multiperv and sizeerrorprojection, who were in awe that I had been talking with the legendary Porsche Lynn.
It’s always amazing to me how people with multi-page résumés check their egos at the door. Porsche Lynn doesn’t need to walk the vending area, and she certainly doesn’t need to take a silly quiz to pair her with a fictitional character.
*But she did*
I sat next to her on the stage and asked who she matched with, and she told me Sayo from the “Perchance to Dream” series. I said that was hard to believe because Sayo is a submissive… an alpha submissive who also acts as a dominant at times, but a submissive nonetheless.
Here’s a good lesson that people do not fit into one category or mold; rather, we are multi-faceted and are a combination of our experiences.
Porsche Lynn is 62 years old and had a tragic and traumatic childhood. When she was six years old, she witnessed her father shoot her mother dead. Soon after, he took his own life.
She lived with her maternal grandparents until her grandfather killed her grandmother; luckily, not in her presence. From there, she was placed in a Catholic orphanage. Porsche Lynn describes two sects in the orphanage: those who were baptized and those who were not.
The baptized children were educated and had more privileges. Since she was unable to be baptized, Porsche Lynn was forced to do manual labor. She remembers the nuns beating her if she didn’t wash the dishes properly. She also reflects positively that she was never sexually abused… though she heard and saw it happen to others.
It’s important to emphasize Porsche Lynn’s positive attitude. Despite the atrocities she faced as a child, Porsche Lynn has always believed that it could be worse. In fact, she sought out dark literature, like Dostyevsky and Dickens, as a means of healing, because the characters “had it worse than me.”
Her message is: “All kids should realize that it’s not easy.” Whatever violence you’ve experienced, it is shocking, “but you can get to the other side.”
As a teenager, Porsche Lynn was filled with anger–at men and at god–and she used to throw glass bottles at trains for a release. As a better outlet for her anger, she studied martial arts. She received a black belt in six years.
She used to be afraid of guns and was vehemently anti-gun. Then she realized that “it’s just a gun, and it won’t shoot you; it’s the person.” Porsche Lynn has come full circle where she now manufacturers guns with her husband, and she’s an advocate of protecting yourself. “No one will shoot at or in front of me again.”
After obtaining her nursing degree, Porsche Lynn worked in a hospital. She gave a patient advice on health and exercise and was subsequently written up for “prescribing medicine”, and she was done with her medical career. She saw an ad in the paper that said, “earn cash, flexible hours, some nudity”, and that has been her motto ever since.
Her first job was at Cinema X in East Lansing, where people could go into a booth, bring the window down and see a naked girl.
Porsche Lynn is statutesque at 5’10 and usually wears heels. She was a dancer, which helped in her modeling days as a bondage model. She also has a 10-year career in the adult film industry, amassing over 700 movies, and earning her numerous awards. Plus, she is in the AVN and XRCO Halls of Fame.
Interestingly, she began her adult sex career as a sub. And she’s quick to say that, back then, that’s how people started. You couldn’t become a domme without first experiencing the sub side of things.
When she learned she enjoyed BDSM aspects, she trained for six years with professionals in the United States and Europe.
With each new aspect that she added to her repertoire, Porsche Lynn laughed and said, “earn cash, flexible hours, some nudity”.
She owned a 6,000-square-foot dungeon in New York City for six years. She was paying $7,000/month until the rent was hiked to $17,000! It was operational 24/7, seven days a week.
In 2002, she opened the Den of Indomitus in Tucson, Arizona. Including parking and the building, she has 15,000 square feet. With five themed rooms that are rented hourly or overnight, equipped with kitchenettes, beds and showers, it is the largest fully-equipped dungeon in Arizona. Porsche Lynn enjoys being the big fish in a small pond.
With her nursing background, it’s no surprise that one of the themed rooms is a medical one.
It’s also less surprising that Porsche Lynn paired with Sayo, who is an alpha slave to a diabolical sleep doctor. Granted, my quiz is far from scientific, but there is great symbolism here.
Porsche Lynn shared with me that she doesn’t like to be dominant one hundred percent of the time. In fact, if she’s going to do a dominant weekend, she will set aside six hours for submissive play. What’s her go-to sub scene? She dresses as a little girl and is a bratty sub.
With her brutal past, we discussed how it’s freeing and healing for her to now be safe as a child. She enjoys light BDSM: over-the-knee hand spanking, pussy and boob massage, and being tied up.
What is her advice for newbs? “Do your homework on everyone–myself included.” She advises to check out someone’s history and who they’ve mentored with because it’s too easy to fake things in smedia. It’s even more challenging to obtain honest information.
Porsche Lynn jokes that the new age of dommes seems to think that “you read a book, and now you’re a dom”. She points out that you need to know so much more.
For the person just getting into kink and looking at a session with a professional, Porsche Lynn advises that communication is important. “Make sure you feel heard.”
To Porsche Lynn ~ It was an absolute pleasure to talk with you. I’m humbled you shared your story with me, and I look forward to meeting you again. Perhaps in Tucson!
Preview of Things to Come
Interviews
Kendra James
Mistress Cyan
Vendors
Leather by Danny
Classes
Turning Your Passion Into Profit ~ Kendra James
Other classes that MP and SEP attended
Crossdressing Competition
Play Party
A reminder to my DomCon customers… you should have received an email with a coupon code for the online books you purchased. If you haven’t, please let me know. Be sure to use your coupon before the end of the month.
The next and final DomCon review post… coming soon!
Question: I know most people these days prefer shaved vaginas. I’m wondering how many of your male readers out their shave their own genitals for their partners? And if not, why not?
B.J.’s Answer: Well, I’m going to pass this one over to Sean for obvious reasons… but let me say that there seems to be a double standard. If you want bald, you should also be willing to go bald.
Sean’s Answer: I’m old enough to remember when pubic hair was normal, and smooth pubic areas were a fetish. Now it’s the opposite. That doesn’t answer the question, though.
I shave down there for my own pleasure. It increases my sensitivity. As a couple activity, it can be incredibly erotic. I had a girlfriend once who liked to be shaved. I loved shaving her, and she returned the favor. Of course, we’d have to “inspect” our work to make sure everything was smooth. I’ll tell you what — it takes a LOT of trust to let someone take a razor to the family jewels!
Another reason to do it is, well, who wants to suck hairy balls? Ewww.
And last, but not least, it’s only fair if you expect your partner to bare her lady parts that you do the same for your man parts, right?
Medical professionals warn, however, that removing pubic hair increases your chance for infections and STIs, so be careful!
Thanks, Sean! For the rest of you, voice in. Tell me whether you do and what your thoughts are! I’ll post the responses in the next blog post.
Do you have a kinky question you’d like answered? Use the contact form to submit your question. All questions will be kept anonymous unless you’d prefer to be named.
Thanks for the great questions and comments!
For other kinky advice, check my blog archives.
Happy reading,
~B.J.
